Why Iβm Terrified of the Internet and Buying Fox Blankets Instead
So my mother-in-law told me last week that I should just throw all our iPads into the nearest large body of water, my tech-bro brother-in-law said that if my seven-year-old Maya isn't coding in Python by now sheβs basically going...
Why Sugar Baby Websites Are a Parent's Literal Worst Nightmare
Don't, under any circumstances, attempt to buy refined-sugar-free snacks at three in the morning while holding a teething toddler by typing vaguely health-conscious search terms into your smartphone. It's twenty past three in the morning, and I'm actively failing at...
Why the pretty baby 1978 aesthetic is ruining modern motherhood
I spent three hours last Tuesday trying to wedge a screaming four-month-old into a neutral-toned, structured linen romper just so my mother-in-law wouldn't text me about how unkempt her granddaughter looked in my Instagram stories. The romper had eight tiny...
Why Googling Playboi Carti's Baby Boi at 3 AM is a Parenting Mistake
There I was, balancing a dangerously lukewarm oat flat white on my knee at the Greenwich park swings, trying to pretend I still possessed a shred of cultural relevance. The dad pushing his toddler next to meβa bloke wearing immaculate...
The Ugly Truth About Raising A Pacifier Baby In A Perfect World
The nurse lactation consultant at the hospital looked at me like I had just suggested feeding my newborn a shot of espresso. It was 3 a.m. on my second night postpartum, I was bleeding through my mesh underwear, and my...
Is Nuna Baby Gear Worth the Hype? A Mom of Three Tells All
It was 102 degrees in late August, the kind of oppressive rural Texas heat that makes the air look wavy, and I was sobbing in the gravel driveway of our house. I was fighting a hand-me-down car seat that my...
What Nobody Tells You About The Weird Belly Button Phase
I was standing in my kitchen staring at a newborn who wouldn't stop screaming, sweating completely through my cheap nursing tank, while getting three entirely different sets of instructions from the women in my life. My mama was digging in...
What the baby icon method actually looks like at 3 AM
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in late November. The wind was howling off Lake Michigan, rattling the thin windows of our Chicago apartment, but I could barely hear it over the sound of my six-week-old son screaming. He...
Baby J DJ Drama: Surviving Loud Wedding Dance Floors
I was huddled in the damp corner of a rustic wedding barn outside Austin, vibrating. And I don't mean figuratively. The bass from the DJ's speakers was physically shaking the cheap folding chair I was sitting on while I desperately...