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Why I Finally Stopped Stressing About Enfamil Baby Formula
The absolute biggest myth in modern parenting is that if you aren't illegally importing some $40-a-can organic goat's milk concoction translated from German on a sketchy third-party website, you're basically poisoning your child. I know this because seven years ago,...
The Unexpected Drama of Having a Hip Dysplasia Baby
The six-week checkup at your local NHS GP surgery is supposed to be a relatively victorious milestone. You have kept a human alive for a month and a half, you're operating on a cumulative total of eleven minutes of sleep,...
Dear Me: Surviving a Baby Brown Recluse Spider Scare in the Nursery
Dear Sarah from six months ago. You're currently standing in the laundry room at 2:14 AM wearing a milk-stained inside-out nursing tank and one sock. You're holding Maya's tiny pink shoe under the blinding fluorescent light, squinting at a squished...
Dear Past Priya: The Ugly Truth About Buying Baby Boots
Dear Priya from last November. You're currently wedged between the radiator and the front door of our Chicago apartment, sweating completely through your shirt. You're trying to wrestle a screaming nine-month-old into a tiny fleece snowsuit while staring at a...
The Truth About Baby Blue Nails: When to Panic and When to Chill
Maya was exactly three weeks old, and we were sitting in a freezing local coffee shop because I had reached a level of sleep deprivation where I physically needed to be around other adult humans or I was going to...
The 3 AM Fart Wars: Real Gas Relief For Miserable Babies
It's 2:14 in the morning. I'm wearing a stretched-out nursing bra that smells faintly of sour milk and desperation, sitting cross-legged on the nursery rug, furiously pumping my three-week-old son's legs like he's trying to win the Tour de France....
How Do Babies Breathe In The Womb? My Midwife Set Me Straight
There I was, twenty weeks pregnant with my oldest, laying on a paper-covered table in a freezing room that smelled distinctly of industrial hand sanitizer and old magazines. The ultrasound tech was aggressively pushing the wand into my bladder when...
How are baby carrots made: The paranoid mom's guide
I was standing in my Chicago kitchen at two in the afternoon holding a plastic bag of orange nubs, just staring blindly at my phone. My six-month-old was sitting in the high chair, banging a silicone spoon against his tray,...
Unpacking the hit me baby one more time lyrics at 3 AM
It was 3:14 AM in Chicago. The wind was doing that thing where it aggressively rattles the apartment windows, and my toddler was running a mild fever from an ear infection. I was operating on maybe three hours of broken...