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Surviving the Infant Cashmere Sweater: A Dad's Troubleshooting Guide
The garment had been sitting in its tissue paper like a museum artifact for three months. My wife's aunt had sent it from Geneva, and I had immediately designated it as high-risk inventory. It was a terrifyingly soft, aggressively expensive...
The Brutal Truth About Buying Vestidos de Bebe for Your Girl
We were sitting in the third row at First Baptist Church on Easter Sunday, the air conditioning was broken, and my oldest daughter Mackenzie was literally trying to claw her way out of her own clothes. She was maybe two...
Why I Threw Away Every Regular Onesie During the First Month
It was day three postpartum with my oldest, and I was sweating like a sinner in church. He was screaming that high-pitched, breathless newborn wail. He'd just delivered a mustard-yellow blowout of epic proportions. I was staring at his umbilical...
Why Japanese Newborn Clothes Actually Save Your Sanity With A Baby
Let me tell you the biggest lie the baby industry ever sold us: that newborns need to wear actual outfits. I'm talking about miniature denim overalls, stiff corduroy suspender sets, and tiny button-down flannels. With my oldest, bless his heart,...
Debugging Baby Clothes: The Infant Long Sleeve Romper Upgrade
6:14 AM. Portland is doing that gray, misty drizzle thing it does for nine months of the year. My 11-month-old is currently trying to pull himself up on the edge of the living room coffee table. He is wearing a...
The medical reality of organic cotton baby socks for infants
The day we brought my son home from the hospital, I received three distinct, entirely contradictory mandates about his feet. My mother, wielding her generational aunty logic, informed me that exposing his bare toes to the Chicago autumn would invite...
The Catastrophic Christening That Sold Me On Spanish Baby Clothes
The great christening disaster of last October began not with a dropped cake or a forgotten prayer book, but with a synthetic ruffle. We were sitting in the slightly damp function room of a local gastropub, attempting to celebrate my...
Surviving Newborn Winter Clothes Without Freezing Your Baby
The wind was whipping off the Willamette River, cutting straight through my flannel shirt, and I was standing in the hospital parking lot sweating profusely. Sarah was sitting in the discharge wheelchair, vibrating with postpartum exhaustion, while I tried to...
The Honest Truth About Newborn Short Sleeve Onesies And Blowouts
My oldest son, Hunter—bless his heart, he was my practice child—was exactly four days old when he projectile vomited partially digested breastmilk directly into the hood of a tiny, forty-five-dollar bear-eared sweater my great-aunt bought him. I remember standing in...