Magazine
How The Rapper Baby Kaely Totally Changed My Digital Parenting
It was Tuesday at exactly 4:38 PM, which, if you've children, you know is the absolute worst time of day. The witching hour. My four-year-old, Maya, was actively crying because her string cheese was "too stringy," and I was standing...
Decoding The Postpartum Truth In Baby Justin Bieber Lyrics
It's three in the morning in a Chicago winter. The radiator is hissing, the baby is screaming in a frequency that vibrates my actual teeth, and for reasons I can no longer trace, my Spotify algorithm has decided to queue...
Why Searching For That Baby John Cartoon Sent Me Into A Panic
My mother-in-law swore by propping Leo up with an iPad the second he got fussy, my sister acted like letting a 3D animated pig sing a nursery rhyme would literally dissolve his frontal lobe, and my husband Dave just muttered...
The Truth About Amber Necklaces and Safe Baby Jewelry Options
Iβm standing in this dimly lit, incense-heavy boutique in Brooklyn back in 2018, wearing yoga pants that have an unidentified crusty stain on the knee. Maya is six months old, she's screaming at a pitch that Iβm pretty sure is...
Surviving the Real Baby Invasion Without Completely Losing Your Mind
It was day four. The milk had just come in. My living room was littered with breast pump parts, half-empty water bottles, and those terrible mesh hospital underwear. My husband was sitting on the edge of the sofa, bathed in...
Hosting a Baby in Bloom Baby Shower: A Dad's Survival Guide
You're currently bleeding on a Β£40 bunch of imported eucalyptus. I know this because I'm you, writing from exactly six months in the future, and I still have the tiny, irritating scar on my left index finger to prove it....
How to Take Decent Baby Pictures Without Losing Your Entire Mind
I was sweating through my favorite gray t-shirt, balancing on one foot on a dining room chair, making noises that sounded like a dying turkey. Below me, my oldest son, Hunter, was screaming bloody murder from inside a $60 woven...
Baby I'm Yours: The Real Cost of Bringing Your First Home
I vividly remember sitting in the driver's seat of my beat-up Ford Escape in a sweltering South Texas Target parking lot, nine months pregnant with my oldest. The air conditioner was fighting for its life, and I was blasting my...
Why my toddler's search for baby hotline lyrics gave me a heart attack
It's 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and my left knee is submerged in what I can only hope is lukewarm porridge. Twin A, who I'm increasingly convinced is an agent of chaos sent to test my blood pressure, has somehow...