Magazine
The Ugly Truth About Finding Tiny Silverfish Nymphs in the Nursery
It's two in the morning and I'm staring at the baseboard near the changing table. The lighting is terrible, my eyes are burning from lack of sleep, and my toddler is currently practicing his gymnastics routine on the changing pad....
Why You Need a Baby Sign Language Chart in Your Kitchen
I was standing barefoot on a kitchen floor completely covered in soggy, half-chewed Cheerios, furiously tapping my fingertips together at my red-faced nine-month-old while yelling over his screams about how he just needed to do the little hand thing if...
Why Your Baby Shower Entrance Doesn't Need A Giant Plastic Poster
There I was, thirty-two weeks pregnant with Maya, standing behind the dumpsters of a suburban Italian restaurant with half a lukewarm iced coffee in my hand. I was wearing this floral maternity wrap dress that aggressively rode up every time...
The brutal reality of picking baby shower invitations for a girl
I was twenty-six weeks pregnant, eating fruit antacids like they were candy, staring at my laptop at two in the morning. The screen was a sea of aggressively pink digital paper. The search query was simple enough. I was just...
Surviving the Logistics of Boy Baby Shower Invites
It was 11 PM on a Tuesday. I had a Google Sheet open with column headers for "Paper Weight (GSM)" and "Postage Cost Variance." My wife, Sarah, who was seven months pregnant at the time, walked into the kitchen holding...
What to Look for in a Baby Shower Guest Dress (Without Losing Your ...
Dear Jess of six months ago, currently standing in front of your open closet, sweating into a stained Target graphic tee while trying to figure out what the heck "garden casual" means. I see you, I'm you, and I need...
Finding A Baby Shower Dress That Actually Fits (Without The Tears)
Dear Sarah from six months agoβwait, no. Maya is four now. So, dear Sarah from four years and six months ago. Whatever. Time is a completely meaningless construct anyway when you haven't had a full night of uninterrupted sleep since...
Surviving the Late-Night Chaos of Baby Shower Cookies
It was 2:13 AM and I was standing in my kitchen wearing my husband's college sweatpants and a nursing tank that definitely smelled like sour milk, holding a piping bag of pale yellow icing that was supposed to look like...
Baby Shoes Never Worn: Why Barefoot Is Always The Smart Move
I'm currently sitting cross-legged on the floor of our hallway in Portland, staring at a plastic storage bin filled to the brim with tiny, immaculate, aggressively rigid footwear. Itβs raining outside, the house is hovering at exactly 68.4 degrees because...