Magazine

Expectant mother looking skeptically at a massive tray of cold cuts

The brutal truth about catering for heavily pregnant women

At my own party, I stood at the edge of my sister-in-law's patio staring at a three-foot wooden board covered in prosciutto, unpasteurized brie, and what looked like homemade mayonnaise dip. My mother-in-law nudged my elbow. Beta, you need to...

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Priya sorting through a pile of useless baby shower party trinkets in her kitchen.

The Brutal Truth About Shower Gifts That Guests Actually Keep

I'm standing in my kitchen, staring at a tiny resin carriage I just found in the back of my junk drawer. I honestly don't know whose party it came from. Before I had my own kid, I thought you had...

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A dad staring confused at a blank baby shower card next to a coffee

Writing a Baby Shower Card When You Have No Idea What to Say

I was standing in the greeting card aisle at the local Portland Fred Meyer, holding a pastel yellow card featuring a deeply anatomically incorrect stork, completely paralyzed. I had solicited advice from three different people on what to write in...

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Small tan sheepskin booties sitting next to a half empty cup of cold coffee on a messy rug.

The Ridiculous Truth About Buying Baby Uggs For Your Newborn

November 2017. I was sitting at a crowded Starbucks on 4th street, wearing yoga pants that were definitely covered in spit-up, frantically wrestling a tiny, caramel-colored sheepskin bootie onto seven-month-old Maya's left foot for the eighth time in twenty minutes....

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Vintage plush toy sitting next to a modern wooden baby gym

The Truth About Finding Your Kid's Beanie Baby Birthday Twin

The biggest myth about millennial parenting is that our childhood artifacts belong in our babies' mouths. You see it on social media constantly. A perfectly filtered, beige nursery. A pristine six-month-old sitting on a linen rug. And in their chubby...

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A tired mother looking at a stack of conflicting baby advice manuals next to a crib

Why That Bestselling Parenting Manual Won't Actually Save Your Sanity

You're sitting in the semi-dark at 3:14 AM, the harsh blue light of your phone illuminating a stack of pristine, unread hardcovers on your nightstand while your newborn does that weird pterodactyl screech. You bought all of them when you...

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Two toddlers destroying a living room while holiday music plays in the background.

Let's discuss the absolute madness of those santa baby lyrics

It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday in mid-December. The sky over London had been a bruised, miserable purple since lunchtime, and inside the flat, the twins were orchestrating what I can only describe as a coordinated assault on our...

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Tired tech dad holding a tiny infant gold bracelet next to a silicone teether

Dear Past Marcus: Let's Talk About Baby Gold and Choking Hazards

Dear Marcus of six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're sitting on the edge of the living room rug, staring at a tiny velvet box that Aunt Linda just handed you. Inside is a 14-karat baby...

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A frustrated millennial mom holding a toddler while sitting across from older family members at a dinner table.

Trump Baby Boomers Approval Rating: A Real Parent Survival Guide

Don't try to explain macroeconomic policy to your father-in-law while your toddler is currently trying to shove a fistful of buttered mashed potatoes up his own nose. Just don't do it. I learned this the hard way last Thanksgiving, standing...

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