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The Real Guide to Throwing a Baby Sprinkle That Isn't Tacky
When I got pregnant with my second, I received three completely contradictory pieces of advice in the span of forty-eight hours. My mom, sipping her sweet iced tea on my porch, told me that having a party for a second...
The Truth About Baby Shower Party Favors People Actually Want
I was standing by the industrial trash can at the local VFW hall last weekend, double-fisting a lukewarm sweet tea and a paper plate of dry sheet cake, watching my cousin's friends secretly dump their party gifts. They were doing...
Why Baby Shower Bingo Actually Saves the Entire Gift Opening Hour
"Don't do games, they're for basic bitches," my sister-in-law hissed at me across a lukewarm plate of mini quiches while balancing a mimosa on her hip. Then my mother leaned in, smelling heavily of Chanel No. 5 and unsolicited judgment,...
The Day I Cried Over Target: Why You Need A Baby Registry Finder
I was exactly twenty-six weeks pregnant with my oldest when I had a complete, snot-nosed meltdown in the front seat of my 2008 Honda CRV. I had just waddled out of a big box store holding a scanning gun that...
Hosting a Baby in Bloom Baby Shower: A Dad's Survival Guide
You're currently bleeding on a Β£40 bunch of imported eucalyptus. I know this because I'm you, writing from exactly six months in the future, and I still have the tiny, irritating scar on my left index finger to prove it....
Smart Baby Boy Shower Ideas That Aren't Blue Plastic Bowties
I'm currently sitting on the concrete floor of my garage in ninety-degree Texas heat, staring into a plastic storage bin from 2018. It's filled to the absolute brim with paper mustaches on sticks, neon blue plastic bowties, and tiny glittery...
An Honest Letter to Past Tom About the Best Baby Shower Gifts
I'm currently staring at a cashmere baby cardigan roughly the size of a teacup, aggressively regretting my life choices. My mate Daveβs gathering is tomorrow afternoon, and I'm writing this as a therapeutic exercise directed entirely at my past selfβspecifically...
The Sweaty Reality of Finding a Pink Baby Shower Dress
It was 2:15 PM on a Tuesday in late July, and I was standing in the dressing room of a maternity boutique that smelled aggressively like fake lavender, trying to pry a magenta wrap dress off my sweaty, thirty-two-week pregnant...
The Ultimate Blue Baby Shower Dress Survival Guide for Dads
I was standing in our shoebox-sized London bedroom, knee-deep in crinkled ASOS packaging, watching my heavily pregnant wife attempt to extract herself from what can only be described as a sapphire-coloured sausage casing. She was breathing heavily, one arm pinned...