Magazine
The Honest Truth About When Your Baby Will Finally Say Mama
My mother-in-law cornered me by the spinach dip station at my cousin's baby shower when my son Leo was seven months old and confidently declared that because he was currently blowing spit bubbles, he was practically reading. "He's making the...
When Do Babies Start Seeing Color? A Letter to Past Me
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting in the rocking chair at 2 AM, running on three hours of sleep and a cold cup of coffee, frantically waving a muted sage-green wooden toy in front of your new...
When Will My Baby Actually Roll Over? A Dad's Data Log
It was 2:14 AM on a random Tuesday when the firmware update clearly hit. I rubbed my eyes, squinted at the grainy night-vision feed on the baby monitor, and froze. My previously stationary, log-like child was suddenly facedown in his...
Debugging The Drool Firmware: When Do Babies Teeth Come In?
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the Portland rain was actively mocking my sanity by drumming a steady, chaotic beat against the bedroom window. The baby, who usually just gives a polite little squawk when he wants milk,...
The Absolute Chaos of When Do Baby Teeth Fall Out (And What to Do)
It was 7:12 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a Honeycrisp apple that looked like it belonged in a crime scene. Maya, who's seven but was acting like she was being actively abducted by aliens, was standing...
When Do You Find Out The Gender Of Your Baby
I was untangling IV lines in triage when a patient in her third trimester started crying. Not the quiet hormonal weeping we see a dozen times a shift. Full sobbing. Her mother-in-law had just painted the nursery aggressive pastel pink...
When is kat timpf's baby due? The late pregnancy waiting game
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, sitting in my kitchen with ankles the size of bruised grapefruits, aggressively googling when is kat timpf's baby due. It was a completely irrational fixation. I don't know this woman. But she had announced her...
The Great Crawling Myth: When Do Infants Actually Start Moving?
I was literally sitting on our living room rug with a stopwatch and a spreadsheet. My daughter was exactly eight months and four days old, lying perfectly still on her stomach, looking at me like I had lost my mind....
When Should Babies Roll Over? The Unofficial Milestone Guide
Nobody warns you that the first time your kid successfully flips themselves over, it won't be a triumphant, cinematic milestone captured in crisp 4K, but rather at 2:13 AM when you wake up to find a furious swaddled burrito thrashing...