The sweet potato incident and the messy truth about infant spoons
There was sweet potato puree on the ceiling. I still don't fully understand the physics of how it got there, but there it was, a bright orange smear right next to the smoke detector in our Chicago apartment. My son...
Surviving baby clothing stores: a nurse's guide to what works
I was thirty-four weeks pregnant, ankles swollen to the size of grapefruits, standing in the middle of a high-end boutique in Lincoln Park. The air smelled like lavender and expensive regret. In my hands, I held a pair of stiff,...
A Letter to Myself: What I Wish I Knew Before Entering the Toy Store
Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently standing in the middle of aisle four of a massive, warehouse-style toy store just off the M25, sweating profusely into your supposedly breathable cotton t-shirt while the twins double-team a meltdown...
Surviving the Buy Buy Baby Registry (And Other Twin Tales)
It was a Tuesday evening, somewhere around week nineteen of the twin pregnancy, and I was staring at my iPad with the kind of mounting dread usually reserved for unexpected tax bills. My wife had just handed me the tablet,...
Exposing the Real Job of a Brand Ambassador in the Baby World
I was sitting on my living room rug at two in the afternoon on a Tuesday, trying to bribe my screaming toddler with a half-eaten graham cracker so he would hold a wooden rattle for exactly three seconds. The natural...
Why Infant Silicone Replaced Every Plastic Bowl In My House
I was sitting on my kitchen floor at two in the morning, staring at a warped plastic breast pump flange floating in a pot of boiling water. It had melted just enough to look like modern art. The smell of...
Why high-end infant clothes usually aren't worth the headache
My oldest son, Wyatt, is the reason I've trust issues with zippers, snap crotches, and the entire childrenβs clothing industry. When he was about three months old, I got it in my head that we needed professional family photos out...
The Sandwich Generation Survival Guide to the Adult Bib
I was wearing my husband Dave's faded Syracuse hoodieβthe one with the fraying cuffs that smells faintly of old garlic because he refuses to let me wash it on hotβwhen the coffee went airborne. It was exactly 9:14 AM on...
Dear past Priya: The unapologetic guide to kinder kleider
You're currently pinned to the nursery floor. Your toddler is starfish-spread across the rug, screaming because his green pants feel too spicy today. You're sweating through your scrub top, twenty minutes late for your shift at Rush, staring at a...