Magazine

A cast iron skillet with a puffed pancake on a messy kitchen counter

The truth about raising a dutch baby (and eating one)

I'm currently scraping dried egg batter off my kitchen cabinet at seven in the morning while my toddler aggressively signs for more bananas. This is the exact opposite of the tranquil, well-rested maternal ideal I had pictured when I started...

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A visibly exhausted dad wiping spaghetti off a wall while twin toddlers hold silicone spoons.

The Great Spaghetti Bolognese Incident and Feeding Set Truths

There's a very specific, hollow sound that a ceramic bowl makes when it hits a hardwood floor after being launched from the terrifying altitude of an Ikea highchair. It's a sound that instantly ages you five years. It was a...

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A stressed dad watching his baby chew on a celery stick in a high chair.

The Chicken Bone Incident: Unpacking the Food Teethers Trend

I'm staring at my son, who's currently aggressively making out with a stripped chicken drumstick bone. My wife, Sarah, handed it to him exactly four minutes ago. I'm hovering three inches away, sweat pooling in the collar of my Portland...

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A half-eaten bowl of spaghetti in a silicone suction bowl stuck to a messy tray.

The Truth About Suction Bowls for Toddlers (And What Actually Works)

It was 6:13 PM on a random Tuesday, and I was wearing a grey college sweatshirt that used to belong to my husband Dave but was now permanently stained with what I desperately hoped was just pureed sweet potato. Maya,...

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First-time dad troubleshooting a silicone baby bowl on a high chair tray

A Letter to My Past Self About the Physics of Baby Tableware

Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring at a splatter of pureed sweet potato slowly seeping beneath the 'Esc' key of your favorite mechanical keyboard. You're holding a standard ceramic ramekin in...

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A messy highchair tray with a green silicone baby bowl and half-eaten spaghetti

The Day I Threw Out Every Plastic Plate in My House

There was spaghetti sauce on the ceiling. I'm still not entirely sure how the physics of it worked, but my oldestβ€”who is the cautionary tale for 90% of my parenting decisionsβ€”had just execute a flawless, unprovoked karate kick to the...

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Tired dad holding a green silicone baby bib covered in sweet potato puree.

A Letter to My Past Self About the Great Baby Bib Migration

Hey past Marcus. It's currently November, which means you're standing in the kitchen at 2 AM, holding a cloth that smells vaguely of sour milk, trying to calculate if it's physically possible for a five-month-old to output more fluid than...

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Two toddlers covered in pasta sauce wearing full-body smock bibs

The ganzkΓΆrper lΓ€tzchen saved my twins from tomato sauce ruin

There's a persistent, incredibly damaging rumour floating around antenatal classes that starting your baby on solid food is a gentle, aesthetic journey. You're led to believe you'll hand your darling infant a perfectly steamed baton of sweet potato, which they'll...

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A tired father holding two identical personalized baby bibs in a messy kitchen.

Surviving Weaning and the Tactical Genius of a LΓ€tzchen mit Namen

I'm currently staring at a smear of pureed pumpkin that has somehow defied gravity to reach the ceiling rose of our Victorian terrace. It's seven in the morning on a Tuesday, and one of the twinsβ€”I'm fairly certain it's Florence,...

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