Why the Baby Blue Color Is More Than Just a 90s Nursery Cliche
I was standing in the middle of our empty guest roomβsoon to be the nurseryβholding a paint swatch that looked like a depressed smurf. It was 2 AM, I was aggressively caffeinated, and my wife, Sarah, was staring at me...
The Portland Backyard Bug: Debugging Encounters with Baby Animals
I'm standing in my perpetually damp Portland backyard at 6:15 AM, holding a lukewarm mug of coffee like a shield, while my 11-month-old son, Leo, points a chubby, sticky finger at what appears to be a vibrating pile of dead...
What a 1980s Movie Taught Me About Dads and Newborns
Dear Sarah from last October, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of your Honda Odyssey in a Starbucks parking lot. You're wearing those black Lululemon leggings that have an unidentifiable crusty stain on the left thigh, clutching an iced...
Why I'm Stealing Millie Bobby Brown's Top Secret Parenting Rule
I just spent forty-five minutes frantically deleting old Facebook albums from 2019 while my toddler tried to climb the dishwasher, and let me tell y'all, the panic sweat was real. I was looking at my oldest son's digital footprint, and...
Why I'm Searching For The 'I Had A Baby Without You Full Movie' At 3AM
It's 3:14 AM. The flat smells faintly of lavender baby lotion, stale coffee, and the specific brand of despair that only sets in when you've been awake since Tuesday. Twin A is currently using my left clavicle as a teething...
Surviving The Boss Baby 2: A Parent's Deeply Unqualified Guide
Before we hit play on a Saturday afternoon, I received three entirely distinct pieces of advice about this film. My sister-in-law, who curates her childrenβs wooden toy collection by color, warned me it was corporate propaganda designed to rot the...
Finding The Right Baby Carrier Without Losing Your Mind
I'm standing next to our ridiculously tiny baby car in the pouring rain in a grocery store parking lot, crying over a twenty-foot piece of stretchy bamboo fabric. Leo is exactly four weeks old, screaming from the depths of his...
Surviving the Modern Baby Shower: Themes, Rules, and Absurdities
My mother-in-law insisted we needed a hired tea service with crustless cucumber sandwiches, my mate Paul told me to just book the back room at The Crown and put some crisps in a bowl, and an American lifestyle blog I...
The Chaotic Truth About Finding Brilliant Baby Shower Dresses
Dear Tom of six months prior to the twins' arrival. You're currently standing outside the changing rooms at a high-street maternity shop, holding a lukewarm flat white, waiting for Sarah to emerge. You've been here for forty-five minutes. You think...