Why I Finally Stopped Buying Personalized Blankets For My Kids
I was dragging a heavy plastic storage bin down the pull-down attic stairs last Tuesday, sweat dripping down the back of my neck in this brutal Texas heat, when the lid completely snapped off. Out spilled a massive, dusty mountain...
The 3 AM Yarn Incident: Finding a Safe Crochet Blanket for Newborn
I was holding a tiny LED flashlight in my teeth at 2:14 AM, trying to extract a single microscopic thread of fuzzy blue yarn from my two-week-old daughter's left index finger. My wife, Sarah, was standing by with cuticle scissors...
The miniature adult wardrobe myth and how to actually dress him
We were twenty minutes into my cousin's wedding ceremony when the tiny linen suspenders finally gave way. My son was wearing what the internet told me was mandatory for formal family events, which was essentially a miniature three-piece suit that...
Dear Past Marcus: A Debugging Guide to Dressing Your Infant
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago: I can see you right now. You're standing over the changing table at 3:17 AM in our freezing Portland apartment, sweating profusely while holding a squirming, screaming five-month-old, trying to figure out how...
Dear past me: Burn the denim and other late night revelations
You're currently staring at a mustard-colored stain that has breached the diaper perimeter and is rapidly advancing toward his armpits. It's 3:14 AM. You're trying to unfasten a tiny, rigid denim overall set with six microscopic metal buttons while your...
The truth about girls clothing from a tired pediatric nurse
My mother told me I needed to dress my daughter in pure silk to protect her aura from negative energy. The veteran charge nurse on my pediatric floor said to put her in whatever was cheapest at the discount store...
The ugly truth about girls pants and those morning meltdowns
It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday. I'm sitting on the nursery rug, sweating through my t-shirt, trying to force a stiff, sequined denim leg onto a thrashing two-year-old. She's screaming like I'm taking a bone saw to her shin. I...
Why toddler boy winter legwear is a psychological battleground
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last Thanksgiving to announce that if I didn't cover my son's knees, the winter draft would settle into his joints and cause permanent arthritis. Thirty minutes later at the park, a fellow mom...
Why Your Baby's Favorite Stuffed Animal Matters (And Terrifies Me)
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my husband was out in the driveway in his boxer shorts, aggressively sweeping a flashlight under the seats of our minivan. I was inside, ripping apart the couch cushions and interrogating our...