The Honest Truth About Finding A Safe Newborn Teething Ring
When my oldest started gnawing his own fists off at four months, the unsolicited advice came flying at me faster than I could dodge it. My mom told me to just rub a little whiskey on his gums, my sweet...
Surviving Baby Clothing Stores Without Losing Your Damn Mind
It was 7:45 PM on a random Tuesday in 2016, and I was standing in aisle four of one of those massive, fluorescent-lit baby clothing stores, eight months pregnant with Maya, sweating through a mustard-stained maternity tank top. My husband,...
The Freezing Car Seat Meltdown And The Winter Gear Fix
Listen. It was negative four degrees in Chicago, the kind of cold that physically hurts your face, and I was losing a wrestling match with an infant in a Honda CRV. My son was three months old. I had dressed...
The baby registry target reality check: What you actually need
"You don't need anything except a box of diapers and some onesies," my mother-in-law announced over her Pinot Grigio at my baby shower, which was aggressively unhelpful considering I was already sweating through my maternity leggings. Then my best friend...
Debugging 3 AM Meltdowns With The Happiest Baby On The Block
Here's exactly what you shouldn't do when your system goes down at three in the morning: try to read the manual by the light of a camping headlamp while bouncing on an exercise ball and holding a screaming infant like...
What the Greg Gutfeld Baby News Taught Me About Newborn Chaos
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the beige living room rug that desperately needs vacuuming, aggressively rocking a screaming baby with your left foot while trying to untangle a botched macrame order for the Etsy shop...
Why My Newborn Looked Like the Eraserhead Baby (And How We Survived)
It was 3:17 in the morning, a steady London drizzle was blurring the streetlights outside our flat, and I was staring into the hallway mirror holding what appeared to be a hostile alien organism. My hair, unwashed for four days,...
Reality TV Sleep Advice vs. Rural Texas Parenting (62 chars)
I was three hours into a late-night doom scroll, balancing a sour-smelling burp cloth on my shoulder, when I dropped my phone flat on my face. I was reading some pop culture gossip trying to figure out if Sparkle Megan...
The Great Healthy Baby Myth: Surviving Your First Two Years
I'm currently staring at a beige, violently stained sleepsuit that was, until approximately four minutes ago, perfectly pristine and white. It's 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, and one of the twinsβletβs call her the Loud One, though honestly they alternate...