Magazine

Tired dad looking confused at a premium baby clothing display

Why I Finally Understand the Upscale Baby Department Hype

I'm standing in the middle of a brightly lit American department store, holding a miniature cashmere cardigan that costs more than my first car, trying to calculate exactly how long it'll take a six-month-old to cover it in pureed carrots....

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Two toddlers in neutral organic cotton fighting over a wooden block while their dad looks exhausted.

Why I’m Actively Trying to Turn My Twins Into Nepotism Babies

I was halfway through a tepid mug of black tea, reading an outrage-bait article about yet another famous twenty-something landing a massive film role simply because her father is a beloved nineties sitcom star, when one of my two-year-old daughters...

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A stay at home dad trying to catch a running naked baby girl in a living room

Dear Me: Surviving The Naked Baby Girl Phase With Twins

Dear Tom of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the sofa, smugly drinking a tepid cup of tea while Evie and Isla sit peacefully on the rug, fully clothed in matching corduroy dungarees. You think you've this twin...

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A tired London dad holding two toddlers away from a glass patio door while a fox sits outside.

The Hackney Standoff: Two Babies, One Urban Fox, Zero Dignity

At 5:43 AM on a drizzly Tuesday, I found myself in a high-stakes staring contest with a mangy urban fox. I was armed only with a lukewarm mug of instant coffee and two extremely confident toddlers who were aggressively wielding...

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A tired dad holding a sleeping baby wrapped in an organic cotton blanket.

Raising a Lil Baby Son: Hip-Hop Myths and the Messy Reality

My mate Dave invited me over last Tuesday to meet his newborn, and within four minutes of crossing the threshold, he proudly showed me the tiny, immaculate pair of Air Jordans he’d bought for his three-week-old child. The cultural expectation...

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London dad holding two toddlers while looking exhausted but vaguely hopeful.

The Kylie Jenner Baby Daddy Setup: A 3 AM Letter To Myself

You’re currently hiding in the downstairs loo, aren't you? It’s 3:14 AM, the bathroom tiles are freezing through your socks, and you’ve locked the door because the twins are finally asleep after a three-hour screaming match about who gets to...

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A stressed father holding two toddlers while looking at a water leak on the ceiling.

What the Katrina babies taught me about parenting in a crisis

It was a wet Tuesday afternoon in November when the kitchen ceiling began to ominously bow, creating a distended, watery underbelly right above the toaster. A pipe had burst somewhere in the floorboards above, and as I desperately tried to...

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A dad looking exhausted while holding a smartphone and a baby teether.

Josh and Aubree Jones Named Their Baby Disney (And I Get It)

Dear past Tom You're currently sitting on the bathroom floor at 3:14 AM, using a cold, damp flannel to wipe what you fervently hope is pureed parsnip off your left shoulder. Beatrice (the twin who currently believes she's a domesticated...

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London dad covered in white dust changing a baby nappy at 3am.

Surviving The Dust Cloud: Johnson's Baby Powder & Nappy Rash

It’s 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The heating in our London flat is making that ominous clanking sound that usually precedes a massive repair bill, and Florence (Twin A, currently the undisputed heavyweight champion of dramatic screaming) has decided her...

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