What Every Parent Needs to Know About the 'Baby Jeeter' Scare
I was on my hands and knees under my younger brother Tylerβs incredibly ugly leather sofa, fishing out a rogue handful of cheerios that had somehow become cemented in golden retriever hair, when I saw it. A brightly colored, tiny...
The Truth About Baby Keem Age, Loud Music, And Tiny Eardrums
My mother-in-law told me listening to rap would stunt my kid's language acquisition and that I should stick strictly to classical flute. My husband claimed playing heavy bass in the car was important cultural exposure that builds character. The terrifying...
The absolute disaster of putting your infant in a fancy baby dress
We're at my sister-in-law's house in Naperville for a holiday party. My daughter is four months old and I've wrestled her into a heavily embroidered, synthetic silk baby dress that cost more than my first stethoscope. She looks like a...
The Surprising First Responder Truth About Baby On Board Stickers
My mom handed me the classic yellow diamond at my wife's baby shower, saying it would force aggressive Portland drivers to stop tailgating our Subaru. Two days later, my father-in-law told me to throw it directly in the trash because...
Debugging My Yard: Surviving the Juvenile Copperhead Panic
I was standing completely frozen in the wet grass holding a plastic watering can like it was a broadsword, staring intensely at a patch of overgrown clover. My smartwatch was aggressively buzzing on my wrist, alerting me that my heart...
Is the $25 Baby Chair Ikea Sells Actually Safe for Weaning?
It was 98 degrees in late July, the Texas humidity was thick enough to chew, and I was standing in my front yard in flip-flops blasting a white plastic bucket seat with the jet setting on my garden hose. Neon...
Midnight fridge audits and the great baby carrots recall panic
It was exactly 11:42 PM on a Tuesday when I found myself knee-deep in the bottom drawer of the fridge, clutching a flashlight between my teeth like a cat burglar who specialises exclusively in stealing root vegetables. The twins were...
That time my twins found a baby cardinal in the garden dirt
"Put the potato down, Florence," I said, barely glancing up from my lukewarm cup of tea. We were two weeks into our summer holiday visiting my wifeβs parents in upstate New York, and my primary goal for the afternoon was...
The Marshmallow Myth And The Truth About Baby Car Seat Covers
I was standing in our gravel driveway at seven in the morning, holding a screaming toddler who had somehow locked all his joints so he resembled a rigid, puffy starfish. It was 38 degrees in rural Texas, which meant the...