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The utter chaos of dressing twins in retro kids clothes
My mother-in-law practically kicked our front door off its hinges last Tuesday to hand me a bin bag full of highly flammable, heavily synthetic 1984 baby rompers that my wife apparently wore, insisting the twins needed to wear them immediately....
A Letter To Past Me About The Winter Onesie Sweater Situation
Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently standing by the radiator in the front room of our freezing London flat, staring at your hands. The boiler is making that ominous clunking sound again, Alice is attempting to eat a...
Why japan kidswear completely ruined me for normal baby clothes
When I was pregnant with Leo, I made the mistake of crowdsourcing clothing advice. My mother-in-law cornered me in a Target aisle to aggressively whisper that I should exclusively buy 12-month sizes for my unborn infant and just roll the...
Hunting Down The Discontinued Baby Jogger Vue: A Dad's Reality
I'm currently crouched behind a faux-reclaimed wood table at a Portland coffee shop, obsessively refreshing Facebook Marketplace on my phone while my 11-month-old attempts to deep-throat a cork coaster. Before I became a dad, my entire philosophy on gear was...
Why the organic jersey baby tee is the only shirt you need
It was three in the morning in the pediatric step-down unit when I watched a first-time dad try to wrestle a stiff, miniature chambray button-down over his screaming newborn's freshly placed IV line. He was sweating right through his hospital...
Why Most Plastic Backyard Toys Are Trash (And What Actually Lasts)
It was three o'clock on a Tuesday in late July, it was roughly a hundred and two degrees in the shade, and I was standing in my backyard holding a piece of jagged neon green plastic that used to be...
Why Fribourg Baby Stores Completely Ruined American Shopping For Me
We're standing on the freezing cobblestones outside the train station in the Canton of Fribourg, the airline has lost all three of our checked bags, and my 11-month-old is wearing a spit-up stained pajama top that smells heavily of expired...
The strickanleitung baby delusion and what I got totally wrong
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday in November 2017, and I was sitting on my living room rug in my husband's stained UCLA hoodie, crying over a bamboo knitting needle. I was seven months pregnant with Leo, my ankles...
That Time Stricken fΓΌr Babys Made Me Cry Into My Cold Coffee
I was sitting on the floor of our living room in late November, wearing a pair of maternity leggings that had definitively given up on life around the thighs, surrounded by three balls of what the label aggressively called "ethereal...