The Clinical Truth About Momcozy Carriers and Hip Geometry
The wind coming off Lake Michigan was zero degrees, and I was standing in the Target parking lot on Clybourn trying to figure out a plastic buckle. My three-month-old was screaming in the backseat. I had just pulled him from...
Why the Phrase Sleep Like a Baby is Actually a Massive Fraud
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and I was wearing Dave's old gray college sweatpants that smelled faintly of sour milk and desperation. I was just staring blankly at the ceiling fan in our bedroom, listening to...
That night with a tainted blue baby changed my feeding rules
I was three hours into a Tuesday night triage shift when a terrified dad ran through the sliding doors holding an infant the exact color of a bruised eggplant. Listen. I've seen a thousand of these panicked parents sprinting into...
Why We Threw Out Our Teething Tablets (And What Actually Works)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The crib sheet was basically a swamp of drool, and I was frantically swiping through my phone with my left thumb while bouncing a screaming 6-month-old on my right hip. My brain was...
Why the thalidomide baby tragedy still dictates pregnancy rules
I was standing in aisle four of a aggressively crunchy Portland natural grocery store, holding a box of German herbal nausea pills that smelled like dirt and black licorice. Sarah was eight weeks pregnant. For the last seventy-two hours, she...
Real Talk: The "That's My Baby She's Iconic" Trend Is Exhausting
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the edge of the master bathtub at 2:14 AM wearing those gray sweatpants with the bleach stain on the thigh, and you're literally crying into a mug of coffee that...
What the Katrina babies taught me about parenting in a crisis
It was a wet Tuesday afternoon in November when the kitchen ceiling began to ominously bow, creating a distended, watery underbelly right above the toaster. A pipe had burst somewhere in the floorboards above, and as I desperately tried to...
How To Actually Hold A Newborn Without Freaking Out
I'm currently sitting on the peeling linoleum floor of my laundry room, staring at a mountain of spit-up stained onesies, writing this on the back of a wrinkled Target receipt because if I don't get these thoughts out of my...
The Truth About Ugly Baby Gear and Why I Stopped Caring
I was standing in the Target parking lot in mid-December, wearing black maternity leggings that were literally falling down because my postpartum body was in that weird, deflated balloon phase, and I was sobbing aggressively. Like, ugly, loud, snorting sobs....