The reality of raising a CDH baby when you have absolutely no idea ...
When we got the twenty-week anomaly scan results for the twins, I received exactly three pieces of advice about what to do next. My mother-in-law told us to play Mozart to the bump to encourage "internal harmony," a woman in...
Why the Sweet Stuff Is Off the Menu: A Guide to Honey for Infants
Tuesday, 3:18 AM. Twin A (the one with the lungs) has developed a cough that sounds vaguely like a sea lion demanding fish. My phone vibrates on the nightstand. It's my mother, who possesses a bizarre sixth sense for when...
The Moldy Bath Toy and My Black Killer Whale Baby Obsession
It was 4:12 AM, and I was standing on the freezing, fake-marble tile of our upstairs bathroom wearing Dave's college sweatpantsβthe ones with the literal hole in the crotch that I refuse to throw away because the waistband is basically...
Stop Taking My Chips I'm Just A Baby: A Dad's Survival Guide
Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the hallway floor at 4 PM, wedged between a pile of unopened mail and a rogue wellington boot, trying to negotiate with a toddler who has just hurled a...
Jimmy Butler Baby Mama Drama: The Real Parenting Lessons
The biggest myth about rich people having kids is that their problems are completely foreign to us regular, exhausted moms wiping sweet potato off the ceiling. I totally bought into that fake reality until my group chat blew up about...
Surviving The Kpop Demon Hunters Baby Phase With Twin Toddlers
I'm currently crouched behind our kitchen island at 6:15 am, clutching a lukewarm mug of instant coffee and watching my two-year-old daughters attempt a synchronized tactical roll across the living room rug. One of them is holding a rather grubby...
Why raising a gentle lady baby is an absolute, hilarious myth
I'm standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM, wearing a dressing gown that hasn't seen a washing machine since Tuesday, trying to negotiate with a tiny human who has somehow managed to get pureed carrot inside her own ear canal....
The Absurd Truth About Searching For Lil Baby Albums Online
"Play Mozart or he'll fail third-grade math," my mother-in-law practically whispered into my ear at my baby shower, aggressively shoving a CD into my hands. Yes, an actual, physical compact disc in a jewel case. Who even owns a CD...
Lil Baby Freestyle Lyrics: Why My Playlist Had To Change
It was raining sideways on Michigan Avenue and my Uber driver was blasting what sounded like an underground club mix at two in the afternoon. I was wedged in the back seat with my four-month-old, frantically trying to cup my...