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Keeping your real newborn alive during the plastic toy craze
My mother-in-law told me to rub mustard oil in the baby's ears to prevent winter infections. My old charge nurse swore I had to wake him every two hours on the dot or his blood sugar would tank. The barista...
Figuring Out the New MAGA Baby Savings Account Without Losing It
My father-in-law texted me at 6:15 AM in all-caps about how the federal government is apparently handing out a free thousand bucks for my kid. Two hours later, a senior developer on my engineering team Slack-messaged me a doom-scroll thread...
The Terrifying Bobblehead Phase: Babies Holding Their Heads Up
My mother-in-law was holding Florence, who was precisely eighteen days old at the time, when she decided to gesture wildly with both hands while telling a long-winded story about a rogue fox in her garden. For three horrifying seconds, Florenceβs...
How to Reduce Fever in Baby Naturally Without Losing Your Mind
It was exactly 2:14 AM when my middle child, Carter, rolled over into my arm and felt like a literal baked potato fresh out of the oven. I'm talking radiating heat. I sat up in the dark, frantically feeling his...
What Bridget Jonesβs Baby Got Wrong About Real Parenting
Don't, under any circumstances, boot up Bridget Jonesβs Baby at 11 PM on a Tuesday when your wife is 34 weeks pregnant and already convinced every random abdominal twinge is a catastrophic system failure. I learned this the hard way....
The 90s Crack Baby Myth: What Prenatal Exposure Actually Means
When my cousin adopted a beautiful little girl from the grow system, the unsolicited opinions rolled in like a bitter Chicago winter storm. A neighborhood aunty whispered over cold chai that the child would be permanently broken because of her...
The unspoken truth about baby rice cereal and starting solids
My mother-in-law was hovering by the kitchen island at two in the morning, holding a cardboard box of generic infant flakes and shaking it at my husband like it was a maraca. She whispered that if we just put a...
The Only Survival Gear You Actually Need for a Newborn
I was standing in the middle of aisle four with that stupid plastic scanning gun in my hand, watching my husband happily zap a $400 wipe warmer. I had to physically pry the scanner out of his grip. My brain...
Baby Its Cold Outside: A Chicago Nurse's Winter Survival Guide
The wind coming off Lake Michigan felt like tiny shards of glass hitting my face. I was wedged in the back seat of my Honda CR-V, wrestling a screaming six-month-old out of a Michelin-man snowsuit while the heater blew pathetic...