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Surviving the Baby Blue Bronco: A Parent's Guide to Tiny SUVs
Don't, under any circumstances, let a targeted social media algorithm convince you that buying a compact, retro-styled off-roader will somehow resurrect your pre-parenting coolness. I'm currently typing this with my kneecaps firmly wedged against the glovebox of what I can...
How to Talk About the Babi Yar Massacre Without Breaking Your Kids
I was standing at the kitchen island at 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, wearing my husbandβs stained college sweatshirt, trying to order a baby shower gift on my phone while Leo, who's four and completely feral, was repeatedly ramming a...
Dear Past Sarah: The Ash Baby GIF Meme Is Not A Medical Crisis
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, I'm staring at my glowing phone screen in the absolute pitch black of my kitchen at 3 AM, clutching my fourth cup of lukewarm decaf and absolutely convinced that my youngest child is...
Raising an Antiracist Child: Why Colorblind Parenting Fails
It was a Tuesday in 2019. I was standing in aisle four of our local Target, wearing a pair of violently pilled gray yoga pants with a mystery stain on the knee, clutching a lukewarm iced coffee like it was...
Why Your Innocent TV Search Could Show Your Toddler an R-Rated Movie
It was 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, and I was quite literally running on a half-eaten sleeve of stale saltines and the sheer desperate hope that my eight-month-old would just close her eyes. She had been screaming since midnight, teething...
The Terrifying Truth About Accutane Babies And My Pregnancy
It was 2018, I was 28 weeks pregnant with Maya, and I was sitting completely frozen on my bathroom floor. I was wearing Mark's ancient, oversized college t-shirtβthe grey one with a completely unidentifiable stain near the collar that I...
Why I threw our smart baby heart monitor in the trash
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, raining sideways against our Portland windows, when the klaxon sounded. It wasn't a gentle beep. It was the specific, terrifying frequency of a submarine dive alarm broadcasting directly from my nightstand. My wife...
The Night I Searched Baby Kxtten and Broke My Tech Dad Brain
The thermostat was locked at exactly 69.5 degrees, the ambient white noise machine was humming at a steady 45 decibels, and the 11-month-old had finally ceased her evening operational errors. I was sitting on the living room rug, eating cold...
The Complete Nightmare of Choosing a Baby Girl Name
I was thirty-four hours post-C-section, wearing those horrific mesh hospital underwear and a nursing bra that smelled entirely like sour milk and desperation, just staring at this blank government form. The birth certificate lady was hovering by the door holding...