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The Late-Night Internet Spiral and Your Baby's Goo Goo Phase
It's 3:17 AM. I'm sitting on the edge of the glider in my oldest kid's hand-me-down sweatpants, smelling faintly of sour milk and sheer desperation, holding a smartphone with the brightness turned all the way down so I don't accidentally...
Why Iβm Terrified of the Internet and Buying Fox Blankets Instead
So my mother-in-law told me last week that I should just throw all our iPads into the nearest large body of water, my tech-bro brother-in-law said that if my seven-year-old Maya isn't coding in Python by now sheβs basically going...
How Innocent Baby Searches Become Complete Digital Nightmares
Listen. I was standing in my kitchen wearing sweatpants with a suspicious stain on the knee, desperately trying to mash an avocado while a small human shrieked at my ankles. You know the exact kind of screaming I'm talking about....
Why Sugar Baby Websites Are a Parent's Literal Worst Nightmare
Don't, under any circumstances, attempt to buy refined-sugar-free snacks at three in the morning while holding a teething toddler by typing vaguely health-conscious search terms into your smartphone. It's twenty past three in the morning, and I'm actively failing at...
Vetting Caregiver Platforms & Stopping the Sugar Baby Madness
It was exactly 10:14 PM on a Tuesday, which is already a deeply offensive time for me to be awake, let alone wearing hard pants. My husband Mark and I had just gotten back from our first actual "date night"...
Finding the Sugar Baby Mod Sims 4 on My Niece's PC Screen Last Week
I was sitting on my sister's aggressively beige sectional in Naperville, enjoying thirty seconds of silence. My toddler was finally asleep upstairs. I was watching the green night-vision feed on the baby m screen, just waiting for the inevitable moment...
Freaking Out About The Sugar Baby Movies In My Moms Group
So my sister-in-law is standing by the toddler swings yesterday, violently shaking her Yeti mug in the air, telling me I need to throw Mayaβs iPad straight into the nearest river because she just watched that Sundance documentary. You know...
Alexa, Stop: Navigating The Yes Baby Madison Beer Lyrics Trap
Dear Jess from last October. I know you're currently up to your elbows in mismatched socks, feeling pretty smug because the kids are actually playing quietly in the den for once. You think you've got this whole mothering-three-kids-under-five thing figured...
The Truth About The Sims 4 Sugar Baby Mod
The milk was boiling over on my sister's stove when I saw it. I was standing in her Chicago kitchen, bouncing my toddler on my hip while trying to salvage the chai, and her fourteen-year-old stepdaughter was clicking away on...