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My Toddler Found the Lil Baby New Album on Our Smart Speaker
There I was, elbow-deep in cold oatmeal, desperately trying to keep the twins from launching their sticky spoons at the dog, when my four-year-old casually yelled across the kitchen at our smart speaker. Heβs my oldest, which means he's my...
The Baphi Baby Search Incident: Why I Threw Our iPad Away
I was up to my elbows in raw chicken and breadcrumbs when I heard it. That specific, slightly robotic chime of the voice-assistant activating on the family iPad that my three-year-old had dragged into the kitchen. I didn't think much...
Why I Threw Out the iPad: Real Talk on Baby Screen Time Limits
I was packing up three Etsy orders for custom birth announcement signs, trying to balance my phone on my knee, and completely failing to ignore my youngest baby screaming for his morning nap. I had this grand idea to find...
The Truth About the Lydia Plath Baby Rumors & Sibling Roles
Don't ever let your four-year-old think he runs the nursery, and definitely don't believe a single thing you read on the internet at two in the morning. That was the harsh lesson I learned this week while scrolling through my...
The Search Box Betrayal: Telugu Cinema and My Infant's Brain
It was 3:14 AM, the exact hour my optimism usually crashes and my brain reverts to safe mode. The baby was executing a flawless, high-decibel infinite loop of crying because of a newly erupting lateral incisor. I was bouncing him...
Toxic Internet Trends: What Parents Must Know About Baby Stickley
"Keep them off screens entirely until they're eighteen," my mum told me last Sunday over a lukewarm cup of tea, eyeing my smartphone like it was an unexploded bomb waiting to detonate in the living room. "Just stick the parental...
The Truth About Baby Squid: Seafood PurΓ©es and Screen Time Bugs
The biggest myth about modern parenthood is that searching for toddler topics yields cute, harmless information. You think you're looking up a simple dietary question, but the search engine decides you actually want a psychological thriller. I was standing in...
The Truth About That Welcome To Derry Baby Trend Wrecking Sleep
When the night terrors started last week, I naturally asked three different people for advice, which was my first mistake. The woman who runs our local playgroup suggested I let the twins "lean into their dark emotions" and process the...
Why parents who try to watch baby driver get weird search results
My mom called on a Tuesday to say I needed to buy a "baby driver" immediately because that's supposedly how I learned to walk in 1993. Four hours later, my frontend lead Slacked me a link saying I had to...