Why That Vintage Ty Beanie Baby Is a Terrible Gift for Infants
My mom's care package arrived at 2 PM on a Tuesday, smelling faintly of mothballs and unfiltered 1997 optimism. I sliced open the cardboard, pulled out Claude the Crab—complete with the pristine heart-shaped tag encased in a plastic protector—and handed...
What Pediatricians Think About Aveeno Baby Lotion And Eczema
I was sitting on the bathroom floor at 2 AM, trying to rub a thirty-dollar artisanal calendula cream into my screaming four-month-old. Her skin was still peeling like a sunburn. I had convinced myself that because I was a pediatric...
Why Most "Educational" Toys Are Just Overpriced Plastic
I'm currently staring down a plastic monstrosity that speaks three languages, flashes like a discount Vegas casino, and cost my mother-in-law forty-five dollars. It has a giant sticker on the box screaming that it'll teach my baby geometry, and let...
The ugly truth about kids clothes and my nachhaltige mode era
It was a Tuesday at 2 AM, and I was sitting on the floor of my microscopic apartment living room surrounded by three black garbage bags full of newborn clothes that smelled aggressively like a chemical factory. Maya was six...
Why Sustainable Kinder Kleidung Matters & How to Shop the Sale
It was 3 AM, and I was sitting on the floor of a nursery crying over a pair of newborn skinny jeans. My oldest son—who I swear was put on this earth purely to be my cautionary parenting tale—was screaming...
Why I Attempted Babydecke Stricken (And Almost Lost My Mind)
My mother-in-law slapped a skein of neon acrylic on our kitchen island and told me it was indestructible. Three hours later, the guy at the local Portland yarn shop looked at me like I'd asked to poison the water supply...
The Truth About Building a Target Registry for Your Baby
I was seven months pregnant with my oldest, sweating through my maternity leggings in the middle of a Target aisle, clutching a plastic barcode scanner like it was a weapon. My mom was tossing wipe warmers and tiny, pointless patent...
Dear Past Tom: The Actual Trust Fund Baby Meaning (63 chars)
Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in a solicitor’s waiting room in zone 3, trying to peel a smashed Rice Krispie square off a faux-leather chair before Mr. Henderson comes out to discuss your estate. Twin...
Raising Kids With True Grit: A Normal Mom’s Take on Nepotism Babies
Three years ago, I marched right into the office of our local Methodist preschool, smiled at the director, and shamelessly dropped my grandmother’s name to bump my oldest kid to the top of their two-year-long waitlist. I didn't even blink....