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When is a baby no longer a newborn? The great potato awakening
I spent my first month as a father obsessively checking an app on my phone that promised to tell me precisely when the dreaded neonate phase would end. Don't do this. Don't set a calendar alert for four weeks post-delivery...
Wait What Whiskey Is Balcones Baby Blue Doing In The Nursery
I was sitting on my living room floor surrounded by crumpled pastel tissue paper and half-opened gift bags from my baby shower. My mother-in-law was perched on the sofa keeping a literal ledger of who bought what so the thank-you...
How the xiaoxia-baby webcam recorded my worst parenting moment
My mother-in-law firmly believes that baby monitors emit a mysterious frequency that turns infants into sleeper agents. My mate Dave, who treats fatherhood like a tactical military operation in hostile territory, insisted I needed a £300 dual-band Wi-Fi camera with...
Debugging The Baby Don't Be Bald Panic At Two In The Morning
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday when I found myself hovering over the crib, shining my iPhone flashlight directly onto the back of my 11-month-old son's head. I was trying to measure the exact radius of the bald spot...
How I completely debugged our library of baby books for girls
It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. I'm sitting cross-legged on the nursery floor, surrounded by a mountain of glossy cardboard. My wife, Sarah, is blissfully asleep down the hall, and our 11-month-old daughter is currently executing a sleep cycle that...
Baby Back vs St Louis Ribs: Surviving The Family BBQ With Toddlers
My brother-in-law's backyard in Naperville smelled like hickory smoke and impending disaster. I was holding a lukewarm paper plate of potato salad while watching my toddler, who was wearing nothing but a diaper, aggressively gnaw on a piece of barbecued...
From Fragile Newborn To Full baby_gopn1k
I found Maya in the kitchen at 6:13 AM this morning, squatting perfectly on her haunches in the corner by the bin, wearing a matching velour tracksuit and aggressively chewing on a teething rusk like it was a cheap cigar....