Taking Parenting Advice From A Kardashian (And Why It Actually Worked)
It was exactly 3:14 AM, the digital clock on the humidifier was burning red into my retinas, and I was sitting cross-legged on the nursery floor holding a pair of heavy-duty kitchen shears. The baby was doing that terrifying, silent...
What the King Harris Baby Drama Taught Me About Surviving Newborns
Dear Jess from six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now, and I'm just gonna be real with you—you need to put the phone down. You're sitting on the very edge of the rocking chair in the nursery,...
Why the Kali Uchis Baby Approach Actually Works for Normal Moms
There I was, wedged between the humming dryer and a towering basket of unfolded towels at 2:32 AM, bouncing a highly agitated four-month-old on my hip while desperately scrolling my phone with my thumb just to stay awake. Out here...
Justin Bieber’s Go Baby Lyrics Secretly Nailed Postpartum Life
There's this massive, steaming lie we all just collectively buy into with pop culture and parenthood. We assume that pop stars writing songs about devotion and holding someone through the night are just penning romantic fluff from inside an air-conditioned...
The 3 AM Breakdown When I Realized That The Baby Is Actually You
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the cold linoleum of my hallway, sobbing into a burp cloth that smelled heavily of sour milk. My oldest son, Wyatt—who now at age four is a perfectly...
The Leaks Lil Baby: Surviving The Midnight Diaper Blowouts
The smell of ammonia always hits you before the wetness does. It was three in the morning. My toddler was standing in his crib, sobbing softly, completely drenched from the ribs down. I stood there in the dark, calculating how...
The 3 AM Googling Incident: My Real Throat Baby Troubleshooting
It was 3:14 AM when the bassinet started emitting a noise I can only describe as a percolating aquarium filter. Our 11-month-old son was asleep, but he was rattling with every exhale. I grabbed my phone, turned the brightness all...
How To Actually Survive Your Trench Baby Without Losing Your Mind
It was three in the morning and the Chicago winter wind was violently rattling our bedroom window. I was sitting on the edge of the mattress, glaring at my phone screen in the dark. I had three different tracking apps...
How "Hush Little Baby Don't You Cry" Saved My Sanity Tonight
It was July in Texas, which means it was about 102 degrees at midnight, and our window AC unit was making a sound like a dying tractor. My oldest—who's now four and currently serving as a daily cautionary tale for...