Blueface Baby Mama Drama: Troubleshooting Real Infant Safety
I was pinned under a sleeping 11-month-old at 2:14 AM, the screen brightness on my phone turned down so low I was basically reading by echolocation, when the algorithm served me the blueface baby mama drama. If you somehow missed...
Freddie Gibbs Baby Mama Gossip vs. The Reality of Fatherhood
Before the twins arrived, I received three distinct pieces of advice about the impending transition to fatherhood. My postman, Terry, told me to sleep while I still could (it's physically impossible to bank sleep in advance, Terry, but thanks for...
Why Machine Gun Kelly's Co-Parenting Setup Is Oddly Inspiring
It was 3:14 in the morning, the Texas humidity was already sticking to the windowpanes like a wet blanket, and my middle child—let's just call her Baby M for the sake of keeping some things private—was doing that terrifying back-arching...
The Co-Parenting Chaos Nobody Warns You About
I'm sitting in my minivan outside a Starbucks in River North watching my friend do a custody handoff that looks exactly like a Code Blue in the ER. Just pure, uncoordinated panic. She's shoving a heavy diaper bag at her...
What The Lil Durk Baby Mama Drama Taught Me About Co-Parenting
My mom sat me down at the kitchen table over a plate of lukewarm eggs and told me to just smile and wave politely at my husband's ex during drop-offs, like I was the grand marshal of a small-town parade....
Lil Baby Baby Mama Drama: The Mental Load Of Modern Parenting
Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's 3:14 AM. You're pinned under a sleeping infant who has somehow gained the density of a dying star. Your left arm went numb twenty minutes ago, but you're absolutely terrified to move because...
What the King Harris Baby Drama Taught Me About Surviving Newborns
Dear Jess from six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now, and I'm just gonna be real with you—you need to put the phone down. You're sitting on the very edge of the rocking chair in the nursery,...
Why The Gossip About Jayson Tatum's Family Misses The Real Point
It's 6:13 AM, and I'm currently using a damp wipe to scrape what I desperately hope is mashed banana off my left kneecap while scrolling through basketball gossip on my phone. One of the twins has decided that 6 AM...
How Many Baby Mommas Does Elon Musk Have: A 3AM Parenting Spiral
What you absolutely shouldn't do when your 11-month-old is actively trying to chew through your MacBook power cord at three in the morning is fall down a Wikipedia rabbit hole about billionaire reproduction. But there I was, sitting on the...