Magazine
The day a magnetic baby lock defeated my husband and saved the bleach
It was a Tuesday morning, exactly 10:14 AM, and I was wearing a pair of gray maternity sweatpants that had a questionable yogurt stain on the left thigh. Maya was at preschool, and Leo was nine months old. He had...
Put That Tupperware Down: The Reality Of Backyard Reptiles
My four-year-old marched into the kitchen yesterday looking like he had just won the lottery. His hands were cupped so tightly together his knuckles were white, and he had that wild, unblinking stare kids get when they're holding something they...
Why we finally threw out our fancy baby lights (and what worked)
It's 2:43 AM. I'm holding my iPhone between my teeth like a tactical flashlight because I need both hands to manage a diaper blowout of catastrophic proportions. I take one step backward, my heel finds a rogue wooden block, and...
The Brutal Reality Of Trying To Find A Safe Baby Life Jacket
July 2018. Lake George. I'm standing on a splintery wooden dock in a Target floral maxi dress that I thought made me look like a breezy, relaxed coastal mom but was actually just wrapping around my ankles and tripping me....
That time my seven-year-old demanded we get a baby leopard
It was Tuesday around 4:15 PM, raining, and I was wearing those grey sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh. Maya, who's seven and currently in her aggressively vocal animal rights phase, dropped her neon pink backpack...
Why The "Goldie Baby Porn" Search Hijack Changed How I Parent
It was exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in those gray fleece sweatpants that have completely lost their waistband elasticity, furiously deleting three years' worth of Instagram photos with a...
Why Peppa Meets the Baby Broke My Toddlers' Tiny Minds
I was wedged into a suspiciously sticky velvet seat at the Vue cinema in Islington, holding a six-pound box of popcorn that Twin A was actively trying to pour into my left shoe, when the disaster unfolded on screen. We...
Are the Viral SΓ©zane Paula Babies Actually Wearable for Real Moms?
It was Tuesday, 8:14 AM. I was standing in my kitchen wearing black leggings that definitely had yesterday's crusty oatmeal smeared across the left thigh, clutching my third cup of lukewarm coffee like it was a life raft. My husband...
The Gone Baby Gone Cast Has Nothing on My 3 AM Detective Work
My mother swore he was just hungry, my hipster neighbor confidently diagnosed a "leap 6 sleep regression," and a random guy in my Portland coffee shop told me he was definitely sensing my own unresolved childhood trauma. Three totally different...