Magazine
The Only Baby Registry List That Won't Make You Lose Your Mind
I was sitting on the surprisingly sticky linoleum floor in aisle 14 of Target, holding one of those plastic registry scanner guns like it was a literal weapon, and I was openly weeping. It was a Tuesday. I was seven...
When Your Infant Becomes a Baby Rhino: A Hip Dysplasia Guide
I'm currently sitting on my living room rug surrounded by a mountain of expensive zippered cotton, trying to figure out how to shove a piece of rigid medical plastic inside a sleep sack without waking a sleeping infant or snapping...
The Midnight Panic Search for Chest Rubs When Your Baby is Sick
There I was at two in the morning, holding a six-month-old who sounded like a broken coffee percolator, aggressively jabbing at my phone screen with one free thumb because the toddler had just sneezed directly into the baby's open mouth...
Surviving the baby saja costume for kids trend without tears
We were standing in a drafty school gymnasium in Wicker Park when the screaming started. Not the normal toddler whine, but that high-pitched, breathless shriek that makes every parent in a fifty-foot radius freeze. My son was wearing a mass-produced...
Dear Past Me: A Messy Open Letter About Buying Baby Sandals
Dear Sarah from last May, You're currently sitting on the cold linoleum floor of aisle 14 at Target. You're wearing those embarrassing faded black leggings with the tiny hole near the left knee, holding a venti iced cold brew that's...
The baby scale anxiety trap (and why we threw ours out)
It's 4:12 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing in the kitchen illuminated only by the aggressive blue backlight of an LCD screen, trying to calculate the relative density of a soiled nappy. I'm staring at an Excel spreadsheet that...
That time we met a stranded sea sausage on the Norfolk beach
We were halfway across a devastatingly windy, aggressively grey stretch of the Norfolk coastline when one of the twins pointed a sandy, half-eaten breadstick at what appeared to be an abandoned sleeping bag. It was a bleak Tuesday in October,...
The Truth About Those Hypnotic Dancing Fruit Videos
The steam from the shower was fogging up my phone screen, but I could still hear the upbeat, slightly manic techno music bouncing off the bathroom tile. My oldest, Tyler, was strapped into his bouncer chair next to the toilet,...
Surviving the Neon Chaos of Baby Shark's Big Show with Twins
"Don't let them watch it, it completely ruins their developing attention span," said Sarah from our NCT group, sipping a decaf flat white while her only child quietly consumed an artisanal lentil. "Just put it on, mate, it's the only...