Magazine
Why We Finally Banned Those Baby Bratz Dolls From Our London Flat
The invasion began on a damp Tuesday afternoon when my wifeβs Auntie Pam breezed into our flat, shook off her umbrella, and dropped a shockingly pink, heavily blister-packed box onto our coffee table. Florence and Matilda, our two-year-old twins who...
The spreadsheet reality of picking baby boy names with J
I'm sitting at the kitchen island at 2am, staring at a deeply neurotic Excel spreadsheet colour-coded by syllable count. This was three years ago, roughly halfway through my wifeβs pregnancy, before the NHS ultrasound technician cheerfully announced "itβs two girls,...
Why Looking Up Movies For Your Infant Son Is A Terrible Idea
My phone buzzed at two in the morning during a particularly brutal night feed last week. It was a text from my cousin in Seattle, containing a screenshot of a Hulu search page and a question about whether a specific...
The Huge Baby Bouncer Myth I Totally Believed With My First Kid
It was a Tuesday in 2017, and I was wearing a pair of black maternity leggings that had a distinct smear of Greek yogurt crusted onto the left knee. Maya was three months old. I was standing in my kitchen...
Who is Actually in Charge Here? Surviving the Boss Baby Phase
It was 3:14 in the morning, and I was wearing a maternity nursing tank that I definitely hadn't washed since Tuesday, staring at the glow of an iPad playing that DreamWorks movie for the hundredth time. My husband, Dave, had...
Why That Viral Froggy Newborn Portrait is Actually a Photoshop Trick
I was scrolling social media at three in the morning during a seemingly endless feeding session when I saw it. A newborn, maybe six days old, propped perfectly upright with their tiny chin resting on their folded hands. The classic...
How to Take Good Newborn Photos Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was sweating through my third nursing tank of the day, teetering on a dining room chair with my iPhone hovering over my oldest son, Leo, who was currently screaming his head off in a hand-knitted Yoda costume my mom...
Why I Finally Stopped Fighting the Whole Pastel Baby Pink Phase
It was late October 2017, and I was standing in the middle of Target wearing a heather-gray maternity sweater that smelled faintly of the iced Americano I had spilled down my front three hours earlier. I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant...
The Absolute Madness of Picking the Right Baby Pink Color Code
I'm standing in the paint aisle of B&Q at 8:15 on a Tuesday, trying to wipe half-digested porridge off my trousers, when the teenager behind the mixing counter asks me which specific shade of pale pink I want. I look...