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The Chicken Bone Incident: Unpacking the Food Teethers Trend
I'm staring at my son, who's currently aggressively making out with a stripped chicken drumstick bone. My wife, Sarah, handed it to him exactly four minutes ago. I'm hovering three inches away, sweat pooling in the collar of my Portland...
Dear Past Me: Surviving the Great Cozy Legging Winter Crisis
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently standing in the hallway holding a miniature pair of stiff, dark-wash denim jeans. You have a lukewarm coffee balancing precariously on the radiator, and you're sweating profusely as Maya and Isla do...
The Ridiculous Truth About Organic Cotton Socks for Tiny Feet
My left arm is currently wedged shoulder-deep inside the rubber gasket of our Bosch washing machine, fishing for a piece of fabric the size of a tea bag. Maya is howling from the nursery because her left foot is cold,...
The Truth About Organic Infant Socks (and Peeling Ankles)
I was sitting right on the cracked linoleum of my laundry room floor, holding a tiny, sweaty polyester sock in one hand and staring at my six-month-old's ankles in sheer panic. Beau, my oldest, was happily gnawing on a plastic...
Surviving The 3 AM Meltdown Over A Missing Blanket With Foxes
I'm currently on all fours under the sofa, using my phone's torch to illuminate a terrifying graveyard of crushed Wotsits, a rogue piece of Lego, and a dummy that has been missing since last Tuesday. It's 3:14 in the morning....
The Brutal Truth About Fox Pelt Blankets in Your Baby's Nursery
When my mother-in-law's sister visited right after my daughter was born, she brought a genuine silver fox fur throw in a massive garment bag. She told me real pelts were the only way to keep winter babies properly insulated, citing...
The utter chaos of dressing twins in retro kids clothes
My mother-in-law practically kicked our front door off its hinges last Tuesday to hand me a bin bag full of highly flammable, heavily synthetic 1984 baby rompers that my wife apparently wore, insisting the twins needed to wear them immediately....
Why That Freezer Teether Ring Is Actually Making Your Baby Cry
It was three in the morning in the middle of a Chicago February. The kind of bitter cold that seeps right through the windowpanes and makes the old apartment radiator hiss like an angry cat. My toddler was cutting his...
Why My Wife Wears a Nursing Necklace (And I Got Yelled At)
There was exactly one drop of blood on Sarahβs collarbone. It was Tuesday at 3:14 AM, the nursery temperature was holding steady at an best 69.2 degrees, and our then-five-month-old had decided that nursing was no longer a standard food-acquisition...