Put down the loves baby soft perfume before you hold my baby
The pink bottle appeared out of nowhere while I was trying to figure out how to ice my perineum. My mother-in-law had cornered me in the hospital recovery room, brandishing a vintage bottle of Loves Baby Soft perfume like it...
Finding the Donna Summer Magic in Everyday Newborn Chaos
It's 3:14 in the morning. The radiator in our Chicago apartment is clanking like an asthmatic tin man, and my newborn daughter is doing her absolute best impression of a car alarm. Somewhere in the deep, sleep-deprived recesses of my...
Why a kyte baby discount code almost broke my sanity at 3am
Itβs 3:14 AM, the absolute worst possible time for rational decision-making, and I'm illuminated entirely by the harsh, judgmental blue glow of my phone screen. Maya is currently passed out on my chest, drooling a thick puddle of what I...
The Brutal Truth About Bouncing Your Infant In A Plastic Cage
When my middle child turned five months old, my mother dragged a massive, brightly colored, heavily plastic contraption into my living room right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. It was one of those freestanding bouncing activity centers that takes...
JD Vance baby: The messy truth about waiting for the perfect time
Listen. It's 3 AM. The radiator in our Chicago apartment sounds like a dying car engine, and my toddler has decided sleep is an offensive concept. I'm sitting in the dark, watching my phone screen illuminate the spit-up stain on...
The Complete Chaos of Navigating That Viral Jalebi Baby Trend
It was 8:45 AM on a Tuesday, and I was trapped in the preschool drop-off line in my Honda CR-V smelling like three-day-old dry shampoo and desperation. Maya, who was four at the time, was kicking the back of my...
Why that viral I love you baby song became my 3 AM survival tool
The digital clock on the microwave reads 3:14 AM. The radiator in our Chicago apartment is making that rhythmic hissing sound it only makes when it's negative ten degrees outside. I'm pacing the narrow hallway between the kitchen and the...
Why The Boss Baby Movie Is A Brutally Accurate Medical Drama
It was six in the evening. The Chicago wind was doing that thing where it aggressively rattles the windowpanes just to remind you that going outside is a terrible idea. My toddler was sitting on my knee, methodically crushing a...
Don't Throw the Baby Out With the Bathwater: Note to Past Priya
It's three in the morning on a Tuesday. You're currently standing over the kitchen garbage can, holding a sleep sack covered in what we clinically refer to as a code brown. You're debating whether to just burn the garment, the...