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A stressed mom holding a coffee cup reading the news on her phone.

What the Baby Emmanuel Parents Taught Me About Child Safety

I was wearing Mark's ancient grey fraternity t-shirt with the mysterious bleach stain on the collar, sitting on the edge of the cold porcelain bathtub at 2:14 AM. Leo, my youngest, was going through his extremely fun "I only sleep...

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Mom holding a pink bottle of mineral oil looking confused in her bathroom

The Weird Baby Oil Diddy Drama Taught Me A Vital Skincare Lesson

I was elbow-deep in the bathtub trying to scrub a week-old, half-peeled Paw Patrol temporary tattoo off my oldest son's shoulder blade when my phone buzzed with the tenth internet joke of the morning. Between packing up fifteen monogrammed burlap...

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Sarah drinking cold coffee in messy sweatpants while holding a baby

Aishiteruze Baby And The Massive Lies I Believed About Motherhood

It’s 2017 and I'm sitting on the edge of the master bathroom tub at 3:14 AM wearing a pair of my husband’s gray sweatpants that have a highly suspicious yellow stain on the left knee. I'm holding a screaming, two-week-old...

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Sarah holding a coffee mug while sitting next to a baby in an organic cotton bodysuit

The Messy, Exhausting Truth About What It Takes To Adopt A Baby

I was sitting on the cold hexagonal bathroom tiles at 2:14 AM. The laptop was actually burning my thighs through Dave's gray Villanova sweatpantsβ€”the ones with the weird bleach stain on the knee from 2018. I had consumed three cups...

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Messy living room floor with soft blocks and a wooden crochet bear toy.

Why I Threw Away the Pink Plastic (And Found Better Baby Girl Toys)

It was 2:14 AM on December 26th, and I was sitting on the floor in a nursing bra that had completely given up the ghost sometime in 2016 and a pair of Dave's boxer briefs, furiously crying over a plastic...

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Toddler watching Baby Looney Tunes in a soft organic cotton bodysuit

Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Baby Looney Tunes

Dear Priya from last November. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery in our Logan Square apartment at three in the morning. The radiator is making that terrifying clanking noise again. The baby has a mild fever from...

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Tired mom staring at an expensive plush baby cushion on the living room floor surrounded by unfolded laundry.

The Messy, Scary Truth About Your Favorite Baby Lounger Pillow

I was sitting cross-legged on my living room rug at three in the morning, aggressively taping up a stack of cardboard boxes for my Etsy shop, when I finally felt my shoulders drop. My oldest son, who was exactly twenty-two...

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A deeply exhausted dad holding two babies while watching a movie in the dark.

Tina Fey Lied to Me: Why Hollywood Baby Tropes Belong in the Bin

It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged into the corner of our IKEA sofa in an unnatural, spine-twisting posture because moving even a fraction of an inch will wake Twin A, who's currently drooling a warm puddle onto my collarbone. On my...

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Confused dad looking at a laptop screen while holding a teething baby

Why Tiny Panther Movies and Reptile Pets Break Baby's System

I was holding exactly one half of a mashed banana when my seven-year-old nephew, visiting from Seattle for the weekend, loudly demanded we acquire a baby panther. It was 7:15 AM on a Saturday. My eleven-month-old son was currently mashing...

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