The Hilarious and Messy Truth About Raising a Cute Anime Baby
I was standing in my kitchen at two in the morning, aggressively peeling a sweaty, bright yellow, 100% polyester Pikachu costume off my screaming eight-month-old while the ending theme of some intense action show blared from the living room TV....
Baby I'm Preying On You Tonight: Surviving Sleep Regressions
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was pinned to the squeaky gray glider in our nursery wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation. My son Leo was exactly four months old, and...
Surprise, You Now Have a Dozen Hamsters (Surviving the Litter)
"Momma, Princess Fluffbutt split into tiny pink jellybeans!" That was how my four-year-old announced we were suddenly harboring fugitives on a Tuesday morning while I was elbow-deep in packing tape for my Etsy shop and trying to keep the baby...
How To Make Your Baby Laugh Without Completely Losing Your Mind
It was a Tuesday. 4:15 PM, to be exact, and the afternoon light in our living room was doing that weird, aggressive glare thing that makes dust motes look like tiny judgment fairies. I was wearing leggings that hadnβt been...
The Brutally Honest Guide to Early Baby Learning and Brain Growth
My mother-in-law handed me a set of high-contrast vocabulary flashcards when Kabir was exactly twelve days old. She sat on my couch, tapping the cards on her knee, telling me that his brain was a sponge and we were already...
The Truth About Creating a Baby Map: Inside the Womb and Out
Listen, thirty-four weeks pregnant, I was sitting on my Chicago apartment's bathroom tiles at two in the morning with a purple washable marker, poking my own abdomen. The snow was coming down hard outside, and my late-night search history was...
Dear Past Me: What to Know Before Getting a Pug Puppy
Dear Jess from last October. Youβre currently standing in the driveway holding a cardboard box that contains what looks like a hyperactive, three-pound baked potato with giant eyeballs, and you're entirely too confident about this life choice. I know exactly...
Dear Past Me: The Truth About Baby Rudin And Math Milestones
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold kitchen floor in Leo's old oversized Ninja Turtles hoodie, aggressively googling baby Rudin while eating stale Goldfish crackers out of a plastic bag at 2:14 AM. You're...
What the Gracie Abrams Nepo Baby Drama Taught Me About Parenting
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Subaru in the Target parking lot at roughly 4:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing gray sweatpants that had an unidentifiedβand honestly, highly suspiciousβstain on the left knee. It was like 84...