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The Brutal and Honest Truth About Surviving the Super Baby 2 Phase
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen and said I needed to put the new baby in the toddler's crib so they could bond through shared breathing. My former charge nurse texted me to keep them on separate floors so...
Vetting Caregiver Platforms & Stopping the Sugar Baby Madness
It was exactly 10:14 PM on a Tuesday, which is already a deeply offensive time for me to be awake, let alone wearing hard pants. My husband Mark and I had just gotten back from our first actual "date night"...
How the Seiko Baby Alpinist Survived My First Year of Fatherhood
My left wrist vibrated with a Slack notification from my engineering manager right at the exact moment my son sneezed a mouthful of mashed sweet potato across my chest. It was a Tuesday, roughly 6:14 AM. I was wearing my...
The truth about royal family baby number 4 (and my own panic)
It was 6:43 AM on a violently rainy Tuesday, and Twin A had just successfully wedged a soggy, half-eaten piece of Marmite toast into the lower vents of our living room radiator. Twin B, not to be outdone by her...
Why The Peppa Pig Baby Gender Reveal Sent Me Into a Tailspin
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the faded blue IKEA rug in the den. You're wearing those grey sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh, drinking coffee that went cold two hours...
The Messy Truth About Pampers Baby Dry Diapers From A Tired Mom
It was 3:14 AM, the exact hour of the morning when your soul is the most tired, and I was holding my oldest son while a distinct, cold wetness seeped entirely through my favorite cotton pajama shirt. He was three...
Is Nuna Baby Gear Worth the Hype? A Mom of Three Tells All
It was 102 degrees in late August, the kind of oppressive rural Texas heat that makes the air look wavy, and I was sobbing in the gravel driveway of our house. I was fighting a hand-me-down car seat that my...
The Algorithm for a Delayed Shower That Doesn't Suck
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring at a Google Sheet titled Party_Logistics_V3.xlsx, while our five-month-old daughter aggressively chews on a silicone spatula. Since we moved to Portland at 38 weeks pregnant,...
Why That Motorized Baby G Wagon Almost Ruined My Tuesday
It was 9:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing a pair of yoga pants that had lost their elasticity sometime around the Obama administration, sprinting down our gently sloping driveway while screaming at my four-year-old son, Leo. He...