The Great British Baby Buggy Illusion and What Actually Works
I'm currently wedged in the doorway of a Costa Coffee in Balham, the rear left wheel of our double transport system inexplicably locked, whilst twin A attempts to lick the condensation off the glass and twin B practices a high-pitched...
Why the boss baby characters explain your toxic toddler
Listen. When my cousin was pregnant with her second, the advice poured in like a leaked pipe in an old Chicago apartment. My auntie told her the older kid just needs to learn his place because the new baby is...
Why Diaper Tape Fails When Your Tiny Infant Becomes A Toddler
3:14 AM. The bathroom tiles are freezing. Mark is standing there holding his phone, looking absolutely bewildered, while intense, bass-heavy Russian hip-hop blasts out of his tiny phone speaker. He was literally just trying to google "big baby tape" to...
What The Bhad Babie OnlyFans Story Taught Me About Parenting
It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing by the kitchen island wearing a gray Target maternity robe that frankly should have been burned three years ago, just staring at my phone. Maya, who's seven going on...
The search history nightmare and the offline baseline
Maya texted me at two in the morning on a Tuesday. It was just a screenshot of her nine-year-oldβs iPad search history followed by a single skull emoji. She thought she had all the filters on. She thought she had...
Why Skipper Babysitters Inc Dolls Terrify Me As A Parent
I'm currently on my hands and knees in our London flat, using a high-powered camping headlamp to scan the living room rug for a piece of pink plastic no larger than a grain of rice. The grand parenting lie is...
Why a Baby Wombat Video Ruined My Tuesday (And Other Lessons)
It's exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing barefoot on the freezing kitchen tile wearing my husband Dave's oversized tech-conference t-shirt from 2016, trying to explain to my weeping four-year-old why I can't sew a pouch onto her...
Why Getting A Baby Turtle Is Actually A Terrible Idea For Kids
My index finger is pressed against the remarkably smudged glass of a terrarium at a strip-mall pet store in Beaverton, desperately trying to explain the concept of a "shell" to an 11-month-old who's currently attempting to eat my shoelaces. It...
A Letter to My Past Self About Surviving the Baby Shark Dance
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're standing in the kitchen right now. There's a half-eaten piece of toast on the counter and your chai is stone cold. Your sixteen-month-old is in the center of the living room, bouncing at...