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The tatu baby search that completely broke my dad brain at 2 AM
2:14 AM. The nursery is exactly 68.5 degrees. The white noise machine is pushing out a continuous loop of brown noise at precisely 42 decibels. My 11-month-old daughter is asleep on my chest, breathing 32 times a minute. I know...
The Tous Baby Consumer Trap: What I Wish I Knew Six Months Ago
Hey Jess. You're currently sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of the Target baby aisle, roughly seven months pregnant with baby number three, crying over whether to buy a sixty-dollar wipe warmer that has a built-in nightlight and Bluetooth speaker....
The Truth About Boomer Grandparents And Modern Baby Care
Listen, put a little whiskey on his gums, beta. That was my great-aunt at a family wedding last month. He needs to sleep on his stomach or he'll choke on his spit-up. That was my mother-in-law, hovering over the bassinet...
When Can Babies Sleep With A Blanket: A Mom's Honest Guide
I was standing in Maya's nursery at like 2 AM. She was maybe four months old, it was the dead of February, and our old house is drafty as hell. I was holding a lukewarm cup of coffeeβmy fourth of...
The Ruka Baby Monster Error: Troubleshooting 2 AM Meltdowns
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, raining sideways against our Portland apartment windows, and I was actively bleeding from my left collarbone. My 11-month-old daughter had bypassed crying entirely and escalated straight to physical violence. I was holding her...
Stop Stressing: A Letter to Myself About Rare Baby Boy Names
You're currently sitting at the kitchen island with a cold, half-empty mug of Folgers, glaring at a yellow legal pad covered in crossed-out words while your two-year-old quietly colors on the baseboards with a stolen Sharpie. I know exactly how...
The Truth About Old Navy Baby Clothes and Toddler Mud
Don't, under any circumstances, dress two newly-mobile toddlers in matching cream linen rompers for a casual stroll through a damp London park in November. I did this exactly once, under the tragic, sleep-deprived delusion that I could maintain my pre-kids...
Dear Sarah: The Truth About The Viral Mabe Baby Carrier
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're sitting on the living room rug in those embarrassing gray maternity leggings you absolutely refuse to throw out, staring at a pile of beige linen and black buckles. You're on your third...
I Love You Baby and If It's Quite Alright: A Portland Dad's Log
The humidifier is casting this eerie blue glow across the floorboards, it's 3:14 AM, and I'm currently swaying like a broken grandfather clock. My brain's cache is completely empty, and the only file I can seem to retrieve from my...