Magazine

baby mbaby mamalondon dadmillennialorganic cottonparenting humor
A deeply exhausted dad holding two babies while watching a movie in the dark.

Tina Fey Lied to Me: Why Hollywood Baby Tropes Belong in the Bin

It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged into the corner of our IKEA sofa in an unnatural, spine-twisting posture because moving even a fraction of an inch will wake Twin A, who's currently drooling a warm puddle onto my collarbone. On my...

Read more

baby careinfant healthlondon dadnew bornparenting anxietyparenting humor
A tired father attempting to trim his sleeping baby's nails using a camping headlamp

The 3AM Headlamp Operation: Surviving The Infant Nail Care Phase

I'm hovering over Maya's cot like a deeply unqualified jewel thief. It's 3:14 AM. I'm wearing a 400-lumen camping headlamp, holding my breath so hard my vision is blurring, and my hands are hovering over a sleeping toddler with a...

Read more

babybudgetlondon dadorganic cottonparenting humortwins
Tired dad staring at a banking app in a hospital car park

Surviving a Baby With No Money Left (Especially When It's Twins)

I was sitting in the driver’s seat of a 2011 Vauxhall Astra in the car park of St Thomas’ Hospital, staring at the NatWest app on my cracked phone screen. My wife was in the passenger seat, clutching a strip...

Read more

6-month-oldbaby feedingBaby-Led Weaninglondon dadparenthoodparenting humor
A messy kitchen table with scattered baby pancake pieces and a wooden highchair

Surviving the great baby pancake experiment of our weaning era

I'm currently scraping a piece of fossilised banana oat batter off the kitchen ceiling with a plastic spatula. It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the great weaning experiment has officially breached containment. Maya is covered in a sticky paste...

Read more

animal learningbaby geareco-friendlylondon dadparenting humor
A tiny baby pig standing next to scattered wooden nursery blocks

Why Getting A Pet Piglet Might Actually Break Your Spirit

When we decided the twins needed to learn some sort of vague responsibility that didn't involve keeping me awake until 3am, the advice rolled in like a thick London fog. My mother suggested a golden retriever because they supposedly teach...

Read more

1-month-oldbaby pinfant sleeplondon dadparenting humor
Exhausted dad holding a crying baby wrapped in an organic cotton blanket

A Letter To Myself About Surviving The Evening Scream Fest

I found this note sitting in my drafts folder from exactly six months ago. My mate Dave had just texted me from the pub (a man who currently thinks 'tired' means getting eight hours of sleep but waking up once...

Read more

london dadnature learningoutdoorparenting humourspringtoddlers
A tiny infant bird sitting in the damp garden grass next to a toddler's shoe

Dear past Tom: So your toddler found a bird in the garden

Dear Tom from last May. You're currently standing on the patio in your dressing gown, holding a lukewarm mug of instant coffee while watching Maya and Lily enthusiastically poke at a pulsating lump of grey fluff on the lawn, so...

Read more

12-month-oldbaby developmentlondon dadmilestonesparenting humortoddlers
A dad looking exhausted while his one-year-old twins play with wooden toys on a rug

Surviving the Chaos: The Truth About Raising a One-Year-Old

I was on my hands and knees, using a blunt butter knife to scrape a disturbing amount of smashed avocado out of the grooves of our Victorian skirting board, when I realised the greatest lie of modern parenting. The lie...

Read more

1-month-olddigestionlondon dadnewbornparenting humorsleep
Exhausted dad holding a 1 month old baby while staring at a coffee cup

The survival guide to your 1 month old baby: Grunting and chaos

It's 3:14 AM and I'm currently having a staring contest with a four-week-old dictator. Before this week, both my twin girls were essentially sleepy, squishy potatoes who occasionally demanded milk. But at exactly one month old, a terrifying switch flipped....

Read more