Analog QA Testing: Why I Replaced The Flashing Toys With Wood
It was exactly 3:14 AM when my bare heel made contact with the plastic singing cow. I was holding a half-asleep eleven-month-old, navigating the dark hallway by memory, when 180 decibels of synthesized banjo music erupted from the floorboards. The...
Why Raising an 11-Month-Old Feels Like Having a Baby Polar Bear
At 3:14 AM last Tuesday, I found myself sitting on the nursery floor in the dark, bathed in the blue light of my phone, holding a sleeping 11-month-old who currently weighs as much as a medium-sized microwave. My browser history...
Surviving the Pretty Little Baby Connie Francis TikTok Trend
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the nursery was running at an good 69.4 degrees Fahrenheit. I know this because I check the smart thermostat logs when I can't sleep, which is always. My wife was standing in...
What Will My Baby Look Like (And Other Late Night Mysteries)
I was thirty-four weeks pregnant, sitting in the dark at two in the morning, paying a sketchy app five dollars to merge my face with my husband's. The result loaded on my phone screen and I just stared at it....
When Can Babies See Color? My Real Experience With Newborn Vision
I'm standing in the middle of my oldest kid's nursery at 3 AM, holding him like a football, wondering why he's staring dead-eyed at the beige wall instead of the seventy-dollar organic cotton mobile I bought him. I'm exhausted, my...
The waiting game of motherhood: exactly when do babies smile
I was hanging over the bassinet at three in the morning making a sound I can only describe as a dying seal. Day forty-two of my maternity leave. I smelled like sour milk and desperation. I had spent the last...
The Midnight Panic: When Your Kid Finally Starts Kicking In There
It was exactly 2:14 AM. I know this because I was staring obsessively at the red digital clock on our microwave while sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor. I was wearing my husbandβs oversized, threadbare college t-shirt, crying softly into...
Surviving Your 4 Month Old Baby: The Truth About Sleep and Sanity
Everyone tells you that once you hit the sixteen-week mark, the clouds part and the angels sing. They call it the end of the fourth trimester, like you're suddenly crossing a finish line into this magical land of predictable naps...