Magazine

A sleep-deprived dad staring at a spreadsheet of baby boy names on his laptop

Decoding baby names for boys: A dad's naming algorithm

Line 74 of my Google Sheet was flashing neon green. I'd written a custom script to highlight any moniker with a standard deviation of less than 5% in popularity over the last decade, filtering out anything that spiked due to...

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Confused dad holding a remote while an 11-month-old baby plays with blocks.

Why Searching For A Baby Boy Movie Is A Terrible Weekend Idea

It was 6:14 AM on a Sunday, the coffee hasn't kicked in, and my 11-month-old son was aggressively trying to dismantle the living room router. I just wanted twenty minutes of peace. I grabbed the Apple TV remote, typed "baby...

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Dad looking bewildered while trying to diaper a baby boy in a leg cast

A Letter to Past Me About The Baby Boy Cast (And Pee Fountains)

Hey man. It's you from six months in the future. You're currently sitting in room 3 at the pediatric orthopedist in downtown Portland, sweating straight through your flannel shirt, watching a technician wrap your five-month-old's lower half in what looks...

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Twin babies wearing neutral organic cotton bodysuits on a playmat

The baby Saja aesthetic versus the reality of my screaming twins

It was 4:12 AM, the bluish light of my phone illuminating a half-eaten Hobnob on my bedside table, when I fully lost my grip on reality. One of the twinsβ€”I honestly couldn't tell you which one in the dark, but...

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A mom holding her energetic baby boy while trying to fold laundry.

Raising A Baby Boy: Surviving The Chaos And Finding Cute Clothes

When I was eight months pregnant with my oldestβ€”the child who's now officially my daily cautionary taleβ€”I got three distinct pieces of advice in the span of one afternoon. The lady at the post office told me boys are emotionally...

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A toddler boy in a neutral organic cotton sweater playing outside in the cold

Toddler Sweaters Boy Edition: What Actually Works for Winter

My mother-in-law told me to put three layers of thick wool on him or his lungs would freeze the second we stepped onto the Chicago pavement. The moms in my playgroup swore by fifty-dollar beige cashmere rollnecks that require dry...

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Baby boy surrounded by organic muslin cloths and safe wooden toys

Real Talk on Geburtsgeschenke Jungs: Gifts We Actually Used

I'm literally sitting on my living room floor with a trash bag in one hand and a pair of kitchen scissors in the other, trying to aggressively dismantle a three-tiered "diaper cake" constructed entirely of newborn-sized diapers and thick blue...

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A confused dad holding one tiny blue baby sock while his 11-month-old son crawls away barefoot.

My 11-month-old's baby boy socks are a hardware flaw I finally fixed

I'm currently staring at a pile of exactly fourteen orphan pieces of miniature footwear on my living room rug. My son is eleven months old, which means we've dropped roughly 1.2 items from our inventory every single week since we...

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A frustrated toddler taking off a light blue jacket at a wedding reception

How to Survive the Baby Blue Tuxedo Phase Without a Meltdown

There I was, standing in the vestibule of St. Jude’s Catholic Church at exactly 1:42 PM on a sweltering Saturday in May, trying to peel a 100% rigid polyester jacket off my screaming eighteen-month-old son, Leo. My own dressβ€”some floral...

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