Don't You Worry Baby Tyler: My Huge 2AM Nursery Mistake
It was 2:14 AM. I know the exact time because the glowing red numbers of the digital clock were burning a hole in my retinas. Maya was about four months old and going through that horrific sleep regression where they...
My Honest Review of the Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Baby Toys
"Buy the talking dog, it taught your cousin to count," my mom texted me on a Tuesday morning while I was trying to compile code. "Don't let that plastic nightmare into your house, it'll literally nuke his dopamine receptors," my...
Freestyle Lil Baby & Car Rides: Bass, Babies, and Eardrums
My mother-in-law Sheila leaned right into the bassinet and told me, in absolute dead earnestness, that playing Mozart at a low volume was the only mathematically proven way to build brain cells in an infant. My 22-year-old cousin, who by...
The Baby Shark Song Lyrics Broke My Brain (A Dad's Log)
The dashboard clock of my Subaru says 3:14 AM. I'm driving aimlessly down I-84 in the pouring Portland rain, the heater blasting a smell of stale coffee and desperation. The only thing keeping the 11-month-old in the backseat from initiating...
Surviving Rick James Give It To Me Baby At A Texas Barn Wedding
I was elbow-deep in a lukewarm plate of wedding brisket when the DJ decided it was time to pivot from the polite dinner music directly into the heavy hitters. You know the exact moment Iβm talking about. The twinkle lights...
Surviving the Lil Baby Concert 2025 Tour With a Toddler
My younger cousin told me to just strap the baby in a carrier, stand by the merch tent, and vibe. A mom in my neighborhood playgroup swore she took her four-month-old to an outdoor music festival and the kid magically...
What A Million Dollar Baby Actually Costs (And Sounds Like)
Traffic on Lake Shore Drive is at a dead stop. My toddler is aggressively kicking the back of my seat in perfect time to the bass thumping from the radio. It's that Tommy Richman track. You know the one. Before...
The Day I Realized My Baby's Nursery Was Basically a Loud Nightclub
I was sitting on the itchy wool rug in our old apartment, wearing my husbandβs college sweatshirt that had a very distinct, crusted-over spit-up stain right on the collarbone. It was raining outside. I was clutching a mug of French...
Bigbang Fantastic Baby: A Dad's Guide to Infant Auditory Safety
It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday. I'm standing in the exact center of our living room in Portland, holding an 11-month-old who's currently wearing only a diaper and one mismatched sock, while the opening synth chords of a legendary 2012...