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Tired mother sitting in dim nursery holding a sleeping infant

Notes to myself six months ago on surviving the baby M phase

It's 3:14 in the morning and you're staring at the glow of the humidifier like it holds the answers to the universe. Outside, the Chicago wind is rattling the bedroom window, but inside, all you can hear is the frantic,...

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A deeply exhausted dad holding two babies while watching a movie in the dark.

Tina Fey Lied to Me: Why Hollywood Baby Tropes Belong in the Bin

It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged into the corner of our IKEA sofa in an unnatural, spine-twisting posture because moving even a fraction of an inch will wake Twin A, who's currently drooling a warm puddle onto my collarbone. On my...

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Maya watching a baby manatee video on my phone while holding her silicone panda teether

When A Therapy App And A Literal Baby Manatee Saved My Sanity

It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing my husband's ancient Boston College hoodie. The one that has a crusty, mysterious stain on the left cuff that could be hummus, could be dried...

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Pregnant woman drawing a baby map on her belly with washable markers.

The Truth About Creating a Baby Map: Inside the Womb and Out

Listen, thirty-four weeks pregnant, I was sitting on my Chicago apartment's bathroom tiles at two in the morning with a purple washable marker, poking my own abdomen. The snow was coming down hard outside, and my late-night search history was...

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Mom's guide to keeping toddlers safe after finding a mouse nest in the home.

What To Do When Your Toddler Finds A Wild Mouse Nest At Home

I was waist-deep in a pile of winter clothes in the garage, trying to find a matching pair of mittens that probably haven't existed since 2021, when my oldest, Jackson, tapped me on the shoulder. He was holding what looked...

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Mom checking a tiny brown spot on her infant's leg during a diaper change

Spotting A Baby Mole: When To Panic And When To Just Chill Out

My mother-in-law was leaning so far over the changing table I thought she was going to fall straight into the Diaper Genie. We were visiting for Sunday dinner, and I was just trying to get my oldest sonβ€”who's basically my...

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A tired father attempting to trim his sleeping baby's nails using a camping headlamp

The 3AM Headlamp Operation: Surviving The Infant Nail Care Phase

I'm hovering over Maya's cot like a deeply unqualified jewel thief. It's 3:14 AM. I'm wearing a 400-lumen camping headlamp, holding my breath so hard my vision is blurring, and my hands are hovering over a sleeping toddler with a...

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Exhausted mom staring at a baby name book on hospital bed

The Complete Nightmare of Choosing a Baby Girl Name

I was thirty-four hours post-C-section, wearing those horrific mesh hospital underwear and a nursing bra that smelled entirely like sour milk and desperation, just staring at this blank government form. The birth certificate lady was hovering by the door holding...

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Tired dad staring at a banking app in a hospital car park

Surviving a Baby With No Money Left (Especially When It's Twins)

I was sitting in the driver’s seat of a 2011 Vauxhall Astra in the car park of St Thomas’ Hospital, staring at the NatWest app on my cracked phone screen. My wife was in the passenger seat, clutching a strip...

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