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The Case For The Black Baby Onesie And Retaining Your Sanity
At 2:14 PM on a damp Tuesday, exactly three weeks into fatherhood, I found myself trying to extract a screaming infant from a pair of miniature, stiff denim jeans. Florence (or maybe Mabel, the sleep deprivation had completely blurred their...
The Engineering of Baby Fall Clothes: A Portland Dad's Guide
7:14 AM. The air in our Portland backyard smells like wet pine needles and coffee. It's exactly 48 degrees outside, but the weather app promises it'll hit a balmy 71 by three o'clock. I'm standing on the porch staring at...
How To Actually Use The Mountain Of Plush Baby Blankets You Got
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, sitting on the heavy rug of our two-bedroom apartment in Logan Square, staring at a mountain of fleece. The baby shower was over. My aunties had left, taking their tupperware and well-meaning unsolicited advice with...
Dear Past Me: The Brutal Truth About That Knitted Newborn Outfit
You're currently standing in the maternity ward at St. Thomas' Hospital, desperately trying to fold a flailing, furious five-pound infant into a miniature Aran jumper while a midwife named Brenda watches you with undisguised pity. You're sweating. The baby is...
Geschenke fΓΌr 1-JΓ€hrige: Honest First Birthday Gifts You Need
My mom called me the week before my oldest turned one and proudly announced she was buying him one of those plastic sit-in walkers so he could chase the dog around the kitchen. Two hours later, my crunchy sister-in-law texted...
Dear Past Me: The Truth About Globuli Zahnen Baby Nightmares
Dear Jess of last November. You're currently sitting on the cold linoleum of the downstairs bathroom at 3:14 AM. You have a twenty-pound toddler balanced on your left hip, who's screaming hot fire directly into your collarbone, and in your...
Zahnfleisch beim Zahnen: Wie sieht es wirklich im Babymund aus?
Lieber Tom von vor sechs Monaten, Es ist 3:14 Uhr morgens und du sitzt gerade im Halbdunkel unseres Wohnzimmers in Hackney, wΓ€hrend der Londoner Regen gegen das Fenster peitscht. Auf deinem SchoΓ windet sich Matilda, eine deiner zweijΓ€hrigen ZwillingstΓΆchter, und...
I Thought $35 Bamboo Pajamas Were a Scam (I Was Wrong)
Itβs 3:14 AM in mid-July. My firstborn, Jacksonβwho I love dearly but remains my walking, talking cautionary tale for all things parentingβis screaming his lungs out. Heβs wearing one of those rigid, aggressively adorable cotton zip-ups my aunt bought him....
Why a Womens Ringer Tee is Actually Medical Grade Mom Gear
I was scraping dried sweet potato off my shoulder with a lukewarm baby wipe when I finally accepted the truth about maternal fashion. The internet feeds us this massive, glittering lie that modern motherhood requires a closet full of high-tech,...