Magazine

Jess's honest guide to building a baby registry at Target without going crazy

The Truth About Building a Target Registry for Your Baby

I was seven months pregnant with my oldest, sweating through my maternity leggings in the middle of a Target aisle, clutching a plastic barcode scanner like it was a weapon. My mom was tossing wipe warmers and tiny, pointless patent...

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A tired dad holding an iPad and a teething baby looking confused.

A Dad's Panic Over iPad Search Histories and the Tar Baby Meaning

Dear Marcus from six months ago: Put down the cold brew. Stop hyperventilating over the iPad browser history. Your nine-year-old niece who's crashing at your house for the weekend isn't a secret 19th-century racist, and your 11-month-old son (who currently...

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A very sticky toddler looking confused while holding a rib

Dear Tom: Put down the Sweet Baby Ray's immediately

Dear Tom of six months ago. It's Sunday afternoon, you're standing in the back garden holding a plastic squeeze bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's, and you're about to make a terrible, deeply sticky mistake. I know exactly what you're thinking....

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Pediatric nurse reviewing sweet baby inc games controversy and safe toddler screen time

The absolute truth about those sweet baby inc games you heard about

Tuesday night is usually reserved for mindless scrolling and pretending I'm going to fold the laundry. Instead, my phone buzzed with a WhatsApp forward from a local parent group. The message was entirely in caps, warning us to protect our...

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A stressed mom holding a coffee mug and looking at a tablet screen in confusion in a bathroom.

Dear Me: Why "Sweet Baby Inc Detected" Isn't A Recall

You're currently sitting on the freezing hexagonal tiles of your downstairs half-bath at 2:14 AM. The house is completely silent except for the low, rhythmic sound of Dave snoring through the baby monitor and the hum of the refrigerator. You're...

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Exhausted dad looking at a baby monitor and analyzing sleep data on a laptop.

The Myth of the Perfect Infant: Debugging Your First Months

I spent the first three weeks of my son's life waiting for him to become a compliant user. You know the cultural trope we're all soldβ€”the angelic, soft-focus newborn sleeping peacefully in a bassinet while the parents drink hot coffee....

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Pale British father covered in zinc oxide chasing two toddlers with sun cream.

Raising a Sun Baby: A Pale British Father’s Guide to UV Survival

Maya is currently doing an impressive impression of an oiled piglet at a country fair, streaking across the scorched grass of Clapham Common while I trail a few paces behind her with a handful of thick, chalky white zinc cream....

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A tired mother holding her toddler in a messy kitchen

The Real Meaning Behind Sugar Babies For Tired Moms

Five pounds of Gold Medal all-purpose flour hit my linoleum floor with a sound like a muted gunshot. A white cloud plumed up, coating my scrubs, my sneakers, and the crying actual human infant strapped to my chest. I was...

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Toddler reaching for a colorful candy wrapper on a kitchen counter

The Honest Truth About Giving Sugar Candy To Babies Before Two

Listen. My mother-in-law had a literal sugar babies candy poised right over my six-month-old's mouth at a family Diwali party last year. I intercepted that little caramel nugget like an off-duty linebacker. She looked at me like I'd just slapped...

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