A dad's honest survival guide to baby poop colors and nappies
My mother-in-law told me mustard yellow means they're digesting their milk perfectly. The NCT instructor casually mentioned that anything even slightly green requires immediate, intensive medical intervention. And a bloke at our local pubβwho freely admitted he hasn't held a...
Decoding Your Infant's Pink Fingernails (And Surviving Trim Time)
I was sitting on the floor of my nursery at 3:00 AM with my oldest son, Jackson, sweating right through my maternity pajamas and holding a pair of baby clippers like I was trying to defuse a bomb. He was...
The Absolute Mess of Dressing an Infant in a Baby Pink Dress
I'm sitting in the back pew of a Baptist church in the dead heat of a Texas July, sweating right through my own linen top, while my six-month-old daughter screams bloody murder. It was 2019, my oldest was my guinea...
Why Feeding A Baby Peach Slices Is A Messy Physics Experiment
I'm currently staring at an orange, sticky smear on our kitchen ceiling. I don't know the exact trajectory it took to get up there, but I know the source, and I'm honestly impressed by the velocity. My wife Sarah and...
The Truth About Singing "...Baby One More Time" To Your Kids
When I brought my oldest son home from the hospital, I was hit with a barrage of unsolicited advice about what he should be listening to that basically made me want to hide under my bed. My mom swore up...
Who Are The Baby Monster Members? (From K-Pop To Toddler Tantrums)
Yesterday at a Sunday pub roast, over a sticky table covered in mashed peas, I casually mentioned we were dealing with a massive "baby monster" situation at home. I received three entirely contradictory pieces of advice in the span of...
Why the Term Baby Momma Needs to Die (A Tired Dad's Perspective)
I'm standing in the queue at the local Tesco, holding a basket containing only industrial-strength coffee, a multipack of wet wipes, and a bottle of Calpol, when the bloke behind me decides to strike up a conversation. He's wearing sunglasses...
Why I Put Down the Baby Melatonin (And What Actually Worked)
It was 3:14 in the morning on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the kitchen in my boxer shorts, staring into the harsh blue light of my phone. The kettle had gone cold an hour ago. Upstairs, Twin A...
My toddler found baby mario and my screen time rules evaporated
The console was just sitting there on the coffee table, a glowing rectangle of temptation my husband forgot to dock the night before. It was 6:15 in the morning. I was in the kitchen trying to make coffee with one...