What the Katrina babies taught me about parenting in a crisis
It was a wet Tuesday afternoon in November when the kitchen ceiling began to ominously bow, creating a distended, watery underbelly right above the toaster. A pipe had burst somewhere in the floorboards above, and as I desperately tried to...
Josh and Aubree Jones Named Their Baby Disney (And I Get It)
Dear past Tom You're currently sitting on the bathroom floor at 3:14 AM, using a cold, damp flannel to wipe what you fervently hope is pureed parsnip off your left shoulder. Beatrice (the twin who currently believes she's a domesticated...
Surviving The Dust Cloud: Johnson's Baby Powder & Nappy Rash
Itβs 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The heating in our London flat is making that ominous clanking sound that usually precedes a massive repair bill, and Florence (Twin A, currently the undisputed heavyweight champion of dramatic screaming) has decided her...
A letter to myself about Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo
Dear Tom of exactly six months ago, You're currently standing in the baby aisle of the High Street Kensington Boots, staring blankly at a wall of brightly coloured plastic bottles, sweating profusely into your jumper. You have a pram the...
My chaotic journey with johnson and johnson baby powder
I'm currently staring at a pristine, vintage-looking white bottle that my mother-in-law managed to smuggle into our London flat like highly illegal contraband. She placed it next to the nappies with a conspiratorial wink, whispering that the twins "needed to...
The jason lee and tiffany haddish baby rumour broke my brain
Whatever you do, don't look at celebrity Instagram accounts at three in the morning while one of your two-year-olds is actively trying to dismantle a stair gate with a plastic spoon. I made this massive mistake last August, which is...
Dear Past Tom: The Utter Chaos of Choosing Italian Monikers
Dear Past Tom (specifically, the deeply naive version of me from roughly six months ago who confidently volunteered to help my sister-in-law pick out an Italian moniker for her upcoming arrival), You're currently hunched over a lukewarm flat white in...
When The Baby Sister Strikes Back: A Dad's Guide to Sibling Survival
When we first found out we were having twins, which is essentially the experience of introducing a new baby to another baby who's exactly the same age and equally furious about it, the unsolicited advice began rolling in like fog...
The Truth About Unique Gifts For One Year Old Baby Girl
It's currently 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm staring at a living room that looks like it was recently ransacked by a gang of very small, incredibly destructive sugar addicts. There's half-chewed wrapping paper stuck to the skirting boards,...