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The Real Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper Meaning (And Why We Care)
When Leo was about two and a half, his vocabulary basically consisted of "no," "dog," and this aggressive grunting noise that meant he wanted more goldfish crackers. I was obviously losing my mind about it. So I'm standing in the...
The truth about royal family baby number 4 (and my own panic)
It was 6:43 AM on a violently rainy Tuesday, and Twin A had just successfully wedged a soggy, half-eaten piece of Marmite toast into the lower vents of our living room radiator. Twin B, not to be outdone by her...
Decoding the Rora Baby Monster Phase Without Losing Your Mind
I was wearing Dave's faded gray Boston College sweatpantsβthe ones with the questionable stain on the left kneeβand my hair was in a knot so tight it was giving me a tension headache. It was 3:14 AM. I know the...
My honest nurse review of those famous Korean bulk baby wipes
Standing in the glowing fluorescent aisles of a massive warehouse club, staring at a cardboard mountain of Rico wipes. You know the ones. Every mom group on the internet treats them like sacred texts. Another parent bumps my cart to...
Letter to myself about red panda babies and surviving the night
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the peeling linoleum of the nursery floor at three in the morning, staring at a pile of unwashed swaddles and frantically googling the birth weight of exotic animals. You think...
Searching For The Real Love Baby Connection At Eleven Months
My mother-in-law told me that if I pick him up every single time he cries, I'm going to completely ruin his operating system permanently. My barista, entirely unprompted while handing me my third espresso of the morning, told me that...
Troubleshooting the Sudden Red Bumps on Your Baby's Face
I was shining my iPhone flashlight at my sonβs left cheek at 2:14 AM when my wife gently, but firmly, confiscated my phone. I had been hovering over his crib like a forensic investigator for ten minutes, trying to determine...
Why adopting a rabbit baby is a truly terrible idea for your home
My mate Marcus texted me at half-past eleven on a Tuesday night, which is universally acknowledged as the hour when parents of toddlers make their absolute worst life decisions. "Mate," the message read, glowing aggressively in the dark while I...
Dear Me: Don't Let Leo Touch That Swamp Chicken (A Pukeko Story)
Dear Sarah from last October. You're currently standing on the edge of the wetlands trail at 8:15 AM, wearing those maternity leggings you stubbornly refuse to throw away even though Leo is four years old now, and you're clutching an...