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anxietybaby developmentinfant healthnewbornparenting humorpediatrician
London dad looking stressed while holding a sleeping twin

That time I thought my baby's heart rate was dangerously fast

The gel on the ultrasound wand was aggressively cold, but that wasn't why I was sweating through my only clean jumper in a dimly lit NHS clinic in North London. The sonographer was clicking a mouse with the sort of...

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11-month-oldbaby gearbaby namesinfant developmentorganicparenting humor
Exhausted dad staring at a laptop spreadsheet while holding a wooden horse toy

How a Baby Horse Name Crashed My Naming Spreadsheet

I was staring at row 842 of my master Google Sheet when the system finally broke down. Column A contained the potential name. Column B tracked the syllable count. Column C was tied to a Python script I wrote to...

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baby behaviorbaby teethingdevelopmental milestoneslondon dadparenting humor
Exhausted dad looking at twin toddlers who are currently chewing on the coffee table.

How to Survive the Feral Baby Hyena Phase of Human Toddlerhood

It happened at exactly 3:14 on a Tuesday morning. I was attempting the treacherous transfer from shoulder to cotβ€”a maneuver that requires the stealth of a ninja and the steady hands of a bomb disposal expertβ€”when Florence woke up. She...

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Exhausted mom in a messy living room holding a crying newborn

Surviving the Fourth Trimester: When Your Newborn Owns You

I was wearing a nursing bra that smelled aggressively of sour milk and my husband Dave’s old college sweatpants with a mysterious crusty patch on the knee, standing in the kitchen at 3:17 AM swaying like a seasick sailor. Maya...

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A tired father looking at an iPad while holding a coffee mug

Dear Past Tom: The Baby Invasion Trailer Will Ruin Your Week

Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring blankly at a wall that needs painting, drinking a cup of instant coffee that went cold an hour ago. You're feeling incredibly smug because both twins...

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11-month-oldbabybaby gearinternet safetymillennialsparenting humor
A stressed dad looking at a laptop screen after searching for baby kxtten

The Night I Searched Baby Kxtten and Broke My Tech Dad Brain

The thermostat was locked at exactly 69.5 degrees, the ambient white noise machine was humming at a steady 45 decibels, and the 11-month-old had finally ceased her evening operational errors. I was sitting on the living room rug, eating cold...

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6-month-oldearly developmentinfant developmentmotherhoodparenting humor
A tired mom drinking coffee while her little baby giggles on a wooden floor mat

How To Make Your Baby Laugh Without Completely Losing Your Mind

It was a Tuesday. 4:15 PM, to be exact, and the afternoon light in our living room was doing that weird, aggressive glare thing that makes dust motes look like tiny judgment fairies. I was wearing leggings that hadn’t been...

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A deeply exhausted dad holding two babies while watching a movie in the dark.

Tina Fey Lied to Me: Why Hollywood Baby Tropes Belong in the Bin

It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged into the corner of our IKEA sofa in an unnatural, spine-twisting posture because moving even a fraction of an inch will wake Twin A, who's currently drooling a warm puddle onto my collarbone. On my...

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Mom's guide to keeping toddlers safe after finding a mouse nest in the home.

What To Do When Your Toddler Finds A Wild Mouse Nest At Home

I was waist-deep in a pile of winter clothes in the garage, trying to find a matching pair of mittens that probably haven't existed since 2021, when my oldest, Jackson, tapped me on the shoulder. He was holding what looked...

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