Why I Totally Regret Boycotting the Baby Changing Table Setup
It's 4:12 AM. Maya is exactly four weeks old, and I'm on my knees on a faux-flokati rug from Target that I previously thought was, like, incredibly chic. Mustard-yellow newborn poop is currently seeping into the synthetic fibers while I...
What On Earth Is A Baby Booter? Decoding Weird Parenting Slang
I was standing in my kitchen at 6 AM, wearing yesterday's yoga pants and one of Dave's oversized college t-shirts that has a mysterious bleach stain on the hem, holding a lukewarm mug of coffee. I was just staring blankly...
Surviving The 3 AM Pacing Routine With A New Baby Bjorn Carrier
I'm swaying in front of the microwave. The glowing green clock says 3:14 AM, and I'm currently wearing my husband Dave's stained college fraternity t-shirt, which smells faintly of old milk and desperation. Leo is exactly three weeks old, and...
Sada Baby? More Like Sad Baby: How To Survive The Newborn Phase
It's 3:17 AM. My living room smells like a combination of sour milk, stale coffee, and pure, unfiltered desperation. I'm wearing Matt's old college sweatpants with a mysterious bleach stain on the knee, and I'm holding a four-week-old Leo who's...
Sachin and Babi: Why I Finally Stopped Buying Cheap Event Dresses
I was locked in a sweltering utility closet at my cousin's wedding in East Texas, wrestling a static-cling polyester wrap dress off my milk-leaking chest while my oldest, bless his heart, methodically smeared wedding cake icing onto my only good...
The Truth About The Kyte Baby Sleep Sack Drama
It was two in the morning in late November. The wind coming off Lake Michigan was rattling our bedroom windows like it wanted to pick a fight, and I was standing in the dark bathroom aiming a hairdryer at a...
The Southern Mom's Guide to Clearing Up Baby Summer Skin Bumps
It was July 2019, the thermometer on my back porch in rural Texas read 104 degrees, and my oldest son looked like he had been attacked by a swarm of invisible fire ants. He had these tiny, angry red bumps...
Doctor Boss Is My Baby Daddy and Other 3 AM Realities
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, It's November 14th, 3:14 AM. You're sitting in the freezing corner of the nursery on that peeling faux-leather glider. You're wearing the grey Target nursing tank with the weird bleach stain on the...
A Letter to Myself About That Mountain of Carter's Baby Clothes
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the freezing concrete of the garage floor at 11 PM, six months pregnant, staring at three giant Rubbermaid tubs labeled "0-3 Months" and crying over a faded, mustard-stained onesie. I...