The Great Baby Seat Illusion (And What Actually Worked For Us)
It was 87 degrees, I was exactly four days postpartum, and I was sobbing into a half-eaten blueberry muffin in the back of our Honda CR-V. Maya was screaming in her brand new car seat like we were torturing her,...
The Real Truth About People Actually Finding Your Baby Registry
I was sitting in a literal pile of bright pink cardboard boxes on my living room floor, four days after my first baby shower, ugly-crying into a burp cloth because not a single person bought the organic crib sheets I...
What The Gypsy Rose Baby Taught Me About Generational Trauma
It’s 3:14 AM. I’m sitting on the cold tile of my bathroom floor wearing Dave’s gross college sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left knee, holding a sleeping Leo who currently feels like a thirty-pound sack of wet...
What The Hailey Bieber Baby News Actually Taught Me About Postpartum
Three different people gave me completely different advice the week before my oldest was born, and not a single bit of it was helpful. My mom sat at my kitchen island, swirling the ice in her sweet tea, and promised...
How to Actually Raise a Happy Baby (And Not Lose Your Mind)
Dear Jess of exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 2:14 AM wearing a milk-stained nursing bra and mismatched pajama pants, crying into a cold cup of coffee while the baby screams like you've deeply offended...
Dear Past Me: Surviving The First Year And That Lil Baby Age
Dear Sarah from six months ago— Actually, wait. No. Maya is seven and Leo is four now. So writing a letter to myself from six months ago would just be me aggressively telling myself to buy more coffee before the...
The Rihanna baby era changed how I view my postpartum body
It was three in the morning and my breast pump was making that rhythmic, soul-crushing mechanical wheeze. I was sitting on the edge of the bed in a pair of stained sweatpants, mindlessly scrolling through pop culture gossip while my...
Why Oven Roasted Baby Potatoes Terrified Me (And How I Fix Them)
It was a Tuesday, exactly 5:43 PM, and I was wearing my husband Dave’s oversized college lacrosse t-shirt that smells vaguely of basement and stale coffee. I had reheated my morning coffee four times at this point, and I was...
That viral stone baby video is lying to you about pregnancy
It's two in the morning and I'm watching my toddler practice his mixed martial arts kicks in his sleep while my phone screen illuminates the dark. The algorithm, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that what a tired mother really...