Viral Internet Baby Soap Operas & Real Evacuation Plans
I was elbow-deep in raw chicken making freezer meals last Tuesday, with half-finished Etsy orders covering my dining table, when my four-year-old hollered from the living room that the "baby boss movie" was doing something weird. I wiped my hands...
I Survived the Buybuy Baby Relaunch (And My Wife's Registry List)
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Honda Civic last Tuesday, blinking stupidly at a massive blue and white sign in a New Jersey strip mall, completely convinced I had slipped into an alternate timeline. My wife, Sarah,...
The Truth About Buying A Baby G-Shock Watch For Your Kid
It was exactly 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the middle of my kitchen wearing yoga pants with a highly questionable yogurt stain on the knee, desperately trying to saw through a thick pink resin watch...
Finding the Best Baby Carriers Without Losing Your Damn Mind
Three days after Leo was born, I was standing in my kitchen wearing the same maternity leggings Iβd labored in, holding a lukewarm mug of coffee Iβd microwaved four times, and crying because my arms literally felt like they were...
The truth about baby strollers: What I bought vs. what I actually use
Listen. My foot was wedged against the back door of the Red Line train at Fullerton, aggressively kicking the plastic wheel of a luxury travel system that simply refused to fold. The doors were closing. People were staring. My daughter...
The Great Baby Seat Illusion (And What Actually Worked For Us)
It was 87 degrees, I was exactly four days postpartum, and I was sobbing into a half-eaten blueberry muffin in the back of our Honda CR-V. Maya was screaming in her brand new car seat like we were torturing her,...
Debugging the Jogging Stroller: When Can We Actually Run?
I was exactly 400 meters into my first postpartum run around Mt. Tabor, pushing our everyday walking stroller, when the front wheel hit a stray pinecone and the entire chassis vibrated like a smartphone receiving an emergency alert. Inside the...
The Truth About The Baby Breeza (And Why I Panicked)
"If you don't buy it, you're going to literally get a divorce," my sister-in-law announced over her lukewarm latte, dead serious, staring me right in the eyes. "You know those machines harbor invisible mold that will destroy her gut flora,"...
Why the Three Men and a Baby Cast Lied to Us About Fatherhood
It was 3:14 AM, my 11-month-old son was attached to a bottle, and the glowing screen of my iPad was illuminating my deeply exhausted face. I was watching an 80s comedy classic to stay awake, watching Tom Selleck hold a...